(Closed) How terrible is it to have a wedding on a weeknight?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Wednsday night wedding- good idea?
    Yes, it will be fine : (15 votes)
    8 %
    You may lose a few people, but it wont be a big deal : (93 votes)
    49 %
    NO : (82 votes)
    43 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    8353 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2011

    We are getting married on a Thursday because we love the date. It has special meaning for us. We are not concerned about what other people think. They have plenty of time to make plans to be with us, if they want to. We are also not including children for the most part. The only kids that will be there are kids of the wedding party.

    Post # 4
    Member
    289 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    As long as you are okay with losing guests, then go for it. Otherwise, you may want to reconsider…I know I wouldn’t be able to go to a wedding on a weeknight because I get up at 3:30am everyday for work. And if your wedding isn’t until 7 or 8, what about a reception? And if people have to travel, They’d pretty much have to take off at least two days in the middle of the week.  What about if you and hubby go to justice of the peace on the actual date and have a “wedding and reception” that weekend??

    Post # 5
    Member
    7975 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I would still go if it were a local wedding, but it would be hard to stay late. Maybe plan on a short cake reception?

    ETA: I will say, there’s no way I’d go out of state (or more than an hours drive away) for a weeknight wedding. You might consider where all of your guests would come from.

    If you wanted to compromise, maybe you could have the ceremony on the day of, but a party/reception on the weekend after?

    Post # 6
    Member
    255 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    We’re having a Monday wedding and most of my family are out of country so they’ll be taking time off regardless, to come. Many of my friends will be coming but will miss out on the ceremony (which is totally cool with me). We have to have a weekday wedding due to our venue (its a private country club and so no large events ever take place on weekends).

    I think you need to do whats good for you! Its YOUR wedding! =)

    Post # 7
    Member
    5670 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I think it all depends on where your guests are located and who you are planning to invite. If you are planning on having a small intimate affair with local guests then maybe you can talk to those people and get a feel if they would be able to come. For me even if it was local I would need to take 2 days off from work, Wednesday to get ready and Thursday if I stayed late at your wedding. With that being said I would have to be really close to the bride and groom to attend their wedding.

    Post # 8
    Member
    186 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I’d plan on it pretty much being family… I know I wouldn’t go to a wedding under those circumstances. It’s a little….for lack of a better word; selfish.

    So people are going to have to come home from work, get dressed up for a wedding (possibly having to buy something to wear), pay for a babysitter late at night on a school night, so it’s not like many cheaper younger babysitters will be available.. what about people with kids with homework?

    And then after all that they have to be out late and have to go to the work in the morning? Not to mention most of them will feel like they have to bring a gift.

    Just so you can have your wedding on a particular date? I would think that’s a little odd if I were a guest. That’s asking a lot of people so you can have a number on your invitation.

     

    Sorry, just rubs me the wrong way.

    Post # 9
    Member
    3539 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    ditto with fiya exactly.

    I think having your wedding on a week day say something like Monday or Friday is ok guests have a weekend to recover or travel but just to have it on a particular date?

    But your wedding aye… do what you want. sorry im not really the popular opinion.

    Post # 10
    Member
    4466 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Sorry, but I agree with fiya and ccrane.  Could you just do the justice of the peace thing on that day and then the reception on the weekend?

    Post # 11
    Member
    806 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I also agree with Fiya – I wouldn’t go to a wedding like that unless it was for close family (and even then, I’d be a little like, WHYYYY?).  I’m just too busy and tired during the work week to go to a big event on a Wednesday night.  Or I guess I could take off the day of and the day after, but I don’t have a lot of vacation time and that seems like a waste.  It’s just not very guest-friendly.

    Post # 12
    Member
    3219 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    I wouldnt have a problem going. I think i would actully like it better then spending a whole saturday or sunday at a wedding!

    Post # 13
    Member
    3762 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Yes I agree.  It really can be hard for people to attend in the middle of the week.  Personally I probably would not travel more than 30 minutes to get there.

    But assuming you are ok with having a family reception and loosing a few guests, I still think you need to be prepared that it will not be your typical wedding timeline.  An mid week wedding like that does not allow for the same amount of time a weekend wedding does.  Typically you have all day to get ready, the ceremony late afternoon and a 5 or so hour reception afterwards.  If you aren’t starting until 7 pm thats really late.  That puts your ceremony and reception between 7 and 10 pm give or take a bit. 

    I would say the latest I would be willing to stay out would be 10 or 11.  If it was really close to home maybe a bit later. 

    So if you are ok with only having a 3-4 hour reception and not having as many guests then go for it. 

    In my opinion, I would want to make sure everyone I want there has every opportunitity to attend and I want as much time as I can with guests to celebrate. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    5784 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2011

    To be honest, I wouldn’t attend unless you were family. A Wednesday wedding is incredibly inconvenient for everyone involved. I also wouldn’t feel like I could enjoy myself because I had to go to work the next day. Is it really that important to have it on your dating anniversary?

    Post # 15
    Member
    1566 posts
    Bumble bee

    As PP said, I would probably skip a Wednesday wedding unless it was 15-20 minutes from my house and a family member or very close friend getting married. I would not stay more than a couple of hours.

    With a later wedding like that, I’m not sure if you are planning to serve dinner? I feel like most guests would eat beforehand regardless, which is another inconvenience on a weekday.

    Ultimately, it’s up to you, but be prepared for lots of guests not to come. Also, I think you may get negative comments from friends and family about inconveniencing your guests for no good reason. I like the idea of a small ceremony on the Weds and a weekend reception.

    Post # 16
    Member
    555 posts
    Busy bee

    Eh, I am Jewish and most of our weddings (orthodox ones) happen on a weeknight. I don’t see the big deal as long as you know people may decline. I know plenty of people who go out to the wee hours during the week and manage to get up and go to work the next day.

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