(Closed) How terrible is it to have a wedding on a weeknight?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Wednsday night wedding- good idea?

    Yes, it will be fine

    You may lose a few people, but it wont be a big deal

    NO

  • Post # 62
    Member
    1154 posts
    Bumble bee

    I have stayed out/up late on a weeknight for much worst reasons than celebrating a marriage!  I’m kind of shocked at how many people who posted apparently never stay up with a good book/movie/talking to Fiance till 2am and grumble all morning the next day.  A difficult morning – not the end of the world.

    (Threadjack – In fact many time intensive proffesions like doctor or lawyer put you in situation where you get less than five hours of sleep because of work and yet people still manage to function.)

    So yeah I’d go, if I loved you.  Sounds dramatic but that is the way it is.  How convenient it is and sleep matters if I don’t feel strongly about the person, then I judge the party on how enjoyable it is. 

    Also I think weeknights are great for cutting down one’s guestlist! 

    We’re having a Monday wedding and before we made that decision we ran it past All VIPs – no one had any problem (if they did we’d have changed the day) with it.  Other than the VIPs… I don’t mind if people don’t come.  Sure there are a few people I’d be super pleased to see make it and a little disapointed not to – but it won’t really bother me.

    I don’t understand why people think I am obligated to make my wedding convenient to everyone I invite.  An invitation is like a gift and they are very free to decline.  I will not hold it against them!

    Post # 63
    Member
    499 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Could you pick another month where the special date lands on a weekend?  Like if you want March 27 but that’s a weekday, do it June 27 or whatever month is most feasible?  That’s what my fiance and I are doing.  We met on January 7, but I didn’t want a January wedding.  He wanted a 7th, so we picked August as the 7th lands on a Saturday this year.

    Post # 64
    Member
    1154 posts
    Bumble bee

    I also don’t get the comments on you having to wind up the party early.  Why can’t people just leave if they want to?  Why should she (or I :)) have to give up dancing because someone else might want to go home?  It’s not like we’d be stopping them?  I don’t really need more than five people with me to have a good time…

    Post # 65
    Member
    5496 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2010

    @Arachna I get your points, but I have to disagree with the five people being enough to have a good time. I can go out to dinner with five friends and be happy as a clam, but at my wedding I wanted all my friends and family there. We all danced until the very end and I can’t imagine if only five people had been left! Think it’s different for everybody as far as that goes…a few people leaving, fine. We had some elderly people leave early as well as a few others, but most people stayed until the end. I would have been upset if many had left early.

    Post # 66
    Member
    1154 posts
    Bumble bee

    Jenn, I get that totally so if it was you having a weeknight wedding that’s something you’d have to consider and weigh.  But I don’t see how that should stop other people, who don’t mind few people there at midnight from having a party till midnight.  I don’t see how what I’m doing is inconveniencing other people who are free to leave, which is the vibe I was getting from comments that the OP “should make sure to have a short reception that ends early”.  If it’s important to the OP that everyone stay till midnight… Wendesday is not a good choice but I don’t see that she’s obligated to take the choice to dance tll midnight off the table just because it’s Wednesday. 

    Post # 67
    Member
    3148 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    It has been said here  already…but to just get my two cents in.

     

    I went to a wedding once on a Thursday, to be honest it was a slight inconveienve but i went anyways and it was fun. IT was deffinitly low key, not a lot of drinking and the dance ended early cause lots of people went home as they had to work the next day (including me) so depending on what feel you want , then it might work just great….I want my wedding to be a great party with lots of dancing so this deffinitly wouldnt work for me…..personal preference!

    Post # 68
    Member
    2015 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    I just wanted to chime in and say that if you’re only inviting close friends and family, then just poll them and see what their availability is. If you find that most will make time for your weeknight wedding, then go for it.

    Honestly, I think the date thing is a bit silly, but I can, of course, understand the cost factor.

    I wouldn’t attend a weeknight wedding unless it was a close relative and I knew about it far in advance so I could make arrangements for work.

    Post # 69
    Member
    4023 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I might attend, but it wouldnt be for very long, and more likely wouldn’t go. Having to work the next day would really suck. People with kids probably wouldn’t stay very long either, probably have to get kids ready for bed, and have to get up in the morning to take them to school or stuff. It would be hard to go to a weekday wedding and really enjoy it. And if we had to travel to it, there is no way we wold go. Sorry! I agree that the date thing is pretty silly, but I understand if you are dead set on it. Why don’t you just run it by the people you are inviting and see what they say?

    Post # 70
    Member
    573 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    Since the vast majority of your guests are in town, a weeknight wedding is probably fine. Consider your reasons for choosing the weeknight though. The weekend allows guests to have travel time and ease, versus the weeknight being able to spend time over a meal after the ceremony because you’re able to actually afford it.

    Post # 71
    Member
    93 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I am having a Sunday weddng a day after my 6 year anniversary because it was more budget friendly, don’t know that I would plan during a weeknight though.  However, I have a very flexible work schedule so I would attend a weeknight wedding of a close family member or friend but I wouldn’t travel to do so unless we were very close because of using pto time at work and finding a babysitter/someone to take my kids to school while I’m gone.  People who really want to be there will make arrangements to come just be understanding of those who can’t be flexible.

    Post # 72
    Member
    5496 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2010

    @Arachna Oh, I wasn’t saying that she shouldn’t have it Wednesday, but just that there could be a bigger possibility that people may leave early-that’s all. And since she said it will be just close friends and family, I bet they’ll stay later…

    Post # 73
    Member
    612 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Our wedding date protocol was to find the venue, the pick a Saturday either in July or August. July was booked solid, so we picked early August (so people could get back home and get their kids ready for school).

    The Fiance and I don’t even really know when our “dating” anniversary is because we both think it is silly to celebrate an anniversary with no vows behind it. He argues we started dating in April, I say it was May. Neither of us can tell from out emails, so it is just a mystery. We have been dating over two years now though for sure (since May is almost over). 🙂

    Post # 74
    Member
    337 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    If most people are local, I say why not?  Yes it’s unconventional and not the most convenient thing for a lot of them, but it also might mix up their monotonous week in a good way!  It could be really fun to have something like that to do on a Wednesday, and then before you know it the weekend is there as well.

    Post # 75
    Member
    509 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    We’re doing a Wednesday because it’s two years to the date that he proposed.

    I know we’ll lose some guests, but we wanted to accommodate our friends we met while working out west as teachers. They only time they’d be able to come east for more than a weekend is the summer.

    Also, I love the Victorian poem which says that Wednesday is the “best day of all” for weddings.

    Post # 76
    Member
    43 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    View original reply
    @meliss: I am planning a weeknight wedding in Los Angeles too.  I am curious as to how you planned your reception venue/caterers etc.  Our reception is going to be small but because it is a weeknight, so it will range between family (25) to 60-70 including friends.  I was wondering did you ask for an early rsvp?  Thanks.

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