(Closed) How the hell do i handle THIS?!

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 32
Member
436 posts
Helper bee

@peonyinlove:  Sounds to me like they may have a personal issue with your Fiance being there, and are making excuses. I’d decline. Imagine if one of his friends did this to you. Psh… No thanks!

Post # 33
Member
1848 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Much nicer than I would have been. I would have said ‘girl bye’. That’s crazy.

I wouldn’t go.

Post # 34
Member
230 posts
Helper bee

No way in hell would I go to this.

As for whether to invite her, I’d opt not to unless it would create drama in your circle of friends.

Post # 35
Member
2389 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Easiest question ever.  Don’t go!  I wouldn’t go even if my SO were invited – a destination potluck?  OH HELL NO.

Post # 36
Member
522 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

My response would be “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! No.” And just leave it at that. What a t-total bitch.

Post # 37
Member
708 posts
Busy bee

I hope sticking it to this one guy’s terrible girlfriend is worth it.

A simple decline, mail a gift, and done.

Post # 38
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

View original reply
@peonyinlove:  oh wow… I’m usually pretty liberal with wedding ettiquette and think people should generally do what they want. But, not inviting your Fiance to a destination wedding with a lot of travel involved AND a potluck (i.e. have your guests cater your wedding for you)… yeah, no…

was the “meh, fuck it” comment alluding to your husband or to these other girls they didn’t want to invite.

 At least the ridiculousness of this situation should make it easier to decide not to go

Post # 39
Member
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Its rude to invite someone somewhere and then ask them to provide their own food. Its even more rude to make people drive and hou and a half from ceremony to reception and unbelieveable to ask someone to do all that and then tell them they can’t bring their Fiance. I understnad when some people say no +1s to keel costs down, they have no costs so its rediculous. I would not go and if tehy asked why I would tell them exactly why. If they offer to fix the situation then I would go, sometimes people just do/say things without thinking at all.

Post # 40
Member
2639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

I just had to chime in to say, “WOW.”

Yell

Post # 41
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Ah man, I’m usually really relaxed with “wedding rules” but this is kind of a scene. 

I’m all about being frugal and having a wedding within your means, but a destination potluck with evites and half couples just screams shitshow to me.  I’ve been to 75k lavish weddings and I’ve been to ones with nachos, wings, and pizza.  The one thing in common is that they all made their guests comfortable. 

 

I would definately pass on this one OP.  You really don’t have to give an explanation if you don’t want to.  I’m sure they are rude enough to ask so just have something vauge prepared OR you could pop off with the truth if you really wanted. 

Post # 43
Member
804 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
@peonyinlove:  Wow. That is all. She’s going to have a bit of a rude awakening when nobody comes because she’s pissed everyone off.

Post # 44
Member
633 posts
Busy bee

Good lord, what a piece of work. It’s rude enough to refuse to invite your SO, but it’s just mindblowing that she expects you to go to all that effort just so you can drive alone for 4 hours. WTH?

 

I have a feeling she’s going to have an interesting reaction to whatever you send her, so please do update us. :p

Post # 45
Member
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Holy wow that seems like a whole lot of poop on crackers!! If it were me, I would decline. And as PP have said, sorry, WE can not attend..

Post # 46
Member
2597 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@peonyinlove:  Right now, she’s just asked for your email so just give her that.

Once you receive the invitation, either decline it all together or decline to attend the ceremony but attend the pot luck (?!?) reception with your Fiance.  

Your friend sounds a little out to lunch and/or self-centered. They don’t like one dude’s girlfriend so they’re going to insult and inconvenience everyone else? They expect you to fly in and leave your Fiance sitting in the hotel because he’s not welcome to attend the ceremony? And you’re still supposed to help cater her reception? Wow, sounds like a fun day. For them. 

 

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