(Closed) How the tables have turned….

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1217 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Yes I agree!!!

One of my BMs is my FI’s best friend (who is a girl). Well, he has 3 male BFFs and one female BFF, and I felt really bad that the girl couldn’t be in the wedding on his side, so I asked her to be a BM.

We got engaged a long time ago, and we were pretty surprised when she and her FI got engaged a couple months ago and set their wedding date in August. (We are getting married in November.) I picked out BM dresses that are ~$100, but she said she may not be able to buy one. I totally understand that! – and I offered to help out my 6 BMs with their dresses if they can’t afford them. However, this girl is having a $65,000 wedding, she and her FI make >$200k/year, she just bought a $40,000 VW Tiguan, and her BMs are wearing expensive dresses… So I was pretty surprised that of all people to complain, she was the one. (Two of my other BMs are just scraping by financially and they haven’t complained at all.)

Anyways… a little awk! I totally know what you’re talking about!

Post # 4
Member
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I don’t have a story to share, but I always think to myself…don’t accept being a bridesmaid if you are going to complain about the cost. Why does it seem to catch people off guard when they are asked to pay for something (e.g., a dress?) Most ladies know the average cost of a bridesmaid dress…so why b!tch about it when it comes time to buy one? Most brides are very aware of costs and keep things within a reasonable range for their girls (i.e., make-up/hair is optional, gifting the shoes, finding good deals on dresses…). It sounds so frustrating. Thank goodness I haven’t had that experience with my lovely BM’s!

Post # 6
Member
2032 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

All married women I know fall into this category!!  One of my friends, who did a similar thing as us (small wedding, bigger anniversary party) asked me for all kinds of help which I happily offered when she got married (including dress shopping, ring shopping, researching alternative metals) which also happened to be while my husband was literally dying…he passed 1.5 days before their wedding.  I was happy to help, never complained (still not complaining), and we even took my car all over to do things.  Never minded.    

Now she’s married and can’t even TALK about my wedding, doesn’t ask about it, doesn’t bring it up, and barely acknowledges it when I mention it even casually, such as ‘I can meet you at 7, I have to drop off my wedding dress to my Mom’s on my way’.  I don’t think she’s being mean or anything, I think she just honestly forgot HOW stressful it can be and doesn’t get it anymore.  

Post # 7
Member
5245 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I agree with you %100!!!! I was in a wedding last year and the bride wanted everyones hair, makeup and nails to look the exact same. I spent so much money on this wedding and went out of my way to drive almost an hour to her place to help her with the wedding. Now that my wedding is coming up she says she isnt able to make my engagement party for some reason and is angry that I’m not including her in my wedding party even though we were not that close to begin with. I hate going out of my way for people who wont do the same in return. I definetly learned a lesson being in that wedding!

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