Post # 1
So I’m not very good at accepting compliments. For example, if you tell me “Wow, you hair is cute today.” My response would be something negative like “Ugh, I couldn’t do anything with it this morning,” or “I really need to get my highlights redone.”
My mom told me I have to work on this for the wedding. I’ve tried but I end up trying to find something on the other person. Like if they say they like my hair, I say I like their hair too. Not very original and kind of awkward.
I know it sounds silly but what can be a good response for the wedding day? A simple “Thank you” probably won’t happen… I think I need more to say.
Post # 3
I know it’s hard I always had this problem too. But, I forced myself to start just saying “thank you” ; it’s really not as hard as I thought. Just stop talking and smile when you say it.
Or how about “thank you” and “it’s so nice to see you here”.
Post # 4
my FH and his sister have the same problem. They get very uncomfortable and start putting themselves down. big no no. people perceive you the way you perceive yourself so you never want to put yourself down in front of others.
The way to accept a compliment is the same as accepting a small, unexpected gift. Take a second to really hear what the other person is saying and then just say a simple “thank you” or “thank you so much”. You can follow it up with “that’s very kind of you” or just leave it as is. simple.
Post # 5
I’ve taken to a quick “thanks!” with a smile. It’s hard, and sometimes if you catch yourself right at the “, but…” it sounds weird.
Most of time time my “thanks” end up sounding a bit trail-offish, maybe even insincere, which bothers me.
A lot of your acceptance is in your intonation, so try to at least keep it upbeat, even if you absolutely hate something…
Post # 6
If you don’t want to just say thank you, or compliment them back, you could think of a few interesting things about different parts of your attire to add after the thanks – “I got the idea for the hairstyle from _”, “It was hard to keep it this white with a black dog around”, “I’ve been breaking the heels in all week”. Something to invite the person to share in your experience. You could also ask them questions about their stuff, many people like to talk about themselves if you ask them where they got their dress, etc. Also, practice, practice! And awkward, if sincere and done with a smile, is far from the worst thing out there.
Post # 7
@100% agree with Meowkers. It really bothers me when people can’t/don’t think enough of themselves to just say “Thank you” or “That’s so sweet, thanks!”. (whether it’s consciously or subconsciously).
Post # 8
Think of it this way: if you say something negative, you’re contradicting the opinion of the person who just complimented you, which is actually kind of rude! A simple “thank you” is always fine. If you really do feel the need to minimize it somehow, you can say, “thank you, I was actually worried that it needed new highlights [or whatever] but I’m glad it doesn’t look that way to you” which doesn’t discount their opinion as much.
On your wedding day, you’ll get lots of people telling you you look beautiful, and you can reply with something like “thanks, it’s so good to see you, I’m so happy you could make it” which quickly changes the subject. Or if you get compliments on the decorations, etc, say “thanks, I put a lot of work into it so I’m happy that you like it.”
Anyway, this is also something I had to work on doing, because of my own insecurity. But it is actually a great feeling to be able to accept a compliment without having to put yourself down immediately.
Post # 9
Wow, it’s nice to know I’m not alone with this! I don’t know why I do it… yes I do, I’m very self critical! haha
I think just the few extra words with the “Thank You” feel natural and something I could do. So “Thank you so much” and “That’s so sweet, thanks” could work.
I guess I just need to keep practicing. I can ask the Mister to keep giving me compliments until the wedding 🙂
Post # 10
I think I usually add some sort of statement after my thanks. About clothes, it usually involves me saying it was on sale at Ross or Target. I think adding some sort of statement makes me feel more comfortable because it can take the focus off me a bit, while still accepting the compliment. So in response to “your hair looks great” just thanks, makes me feel awkward, like the “i know I’m so beautiful” is unstated and implied. “really? i hate it” or “i don’t usually look this good” ends up putting the other person in an awkward place. “thanks, i love yours too” can sound fake. “thanks, i just got it cut” accepts the compliment graciously, yet fills the awkward moment after.
For the wedding, if they are complimenting an item (dress, hair, centerpieces) then I’d probably say something about it–and try not to be self-denigrating, just make it a neural statement. If they are complimenting the whole ceremony or reception, something like “thanks, its great to see it come together after the planning” or just thanks it was fun to plan. if they compliment you, as in, you look so pretty, I think you just have to say thanks (tack on a shy giggle and shrug if you want), and then change the subject.
Post # 11
I used to have this problem too and have really worked on it. Now it really bothers me when people dodge my compliments because it makes me feel like they are rejecting them! I wouldn’t give a compliment unless I meant it! Accepting compliments without any qualifications (like not saying “Thank you, I don’t usually look this good”) is an important skill and is great for your self-esteem.
I say, “Thank you” with a big smile, or “Thank you, that’s so nice to hear,” or “Thank you, what a nice thing for you to say.” Just keep practicing!