Post # 32
I can relate.
Most people seem to like me, but yeah, when someone doesn’t it really bugs me. Luckily this doesn’t happen very often (that I know of at least!). I had one incident where a coworker/friend totally turned on me… and it bugs me to this day when I think about it. It got a lot easier when she finally quit and I didn’t have to see her in person anymore, and then when she deleted me from FB a few months later. It was an awkward 3 years or so at work, though! Luckily I didn’t have to interact with her too much… and others in the office didn’t exactly like her “charming” personality either.
I think it’s just a part of growing up… knowing you can’t control everything and focusing on what you can control. If you’ve done everything you can to try and clear up misunderstandings then you just have to realize it’s their problem… not yours.
Post # 33
“I do have some insecurity issues and realize that my self-worth is greatly tied up in the validation of others.”
I can definitely relate to this!
@doubtingdebbieah: I feel the exact same way too!!
I have always been a people pleaser, and I have always been really nice. Even to people I don’t like or people that have wronged me, I’ve always been nice to them. I’m also very non confrontational, which I think is partly due to my insecurity issues as well. I’m afraid if I call someone out they will just bail on me. But then I hold it in and snap, and then they do bail, because I did not handle it well. Although when people snap at me and act very hurtful and rude I give them a second chance even if they don’t deserve it.
It bothers me more when it’s a good friend thay suddenly doesn’t feel the need to out in effort anymore. I’ve lost friends bc they started excluding me or making plans with other friends all the time, but then when I try to make plans with them they’re always busy. Sometimes I feel like they have a preference with their other friends and I’m not it, and it’s so hurtful! I definitely do need to work on my insecurities because I should not let it bother me so much when people don’t like me (or stop liking me, or stop valuing my friendship). My self worth is not dependent on their opinion of me, and neither is yours, or anyone’s for that matter! We just need to remind ourselves of that. And, instead of dwelling on those who dislike us, or those who wrong us, let’s remember that there are people in our lives who do love and appreciate us and will have our backs no matter what. Those people are rare, and worth holding on to!
Post # 34
Thank you to everyone who has responded. You all make very valid points and it’s heartening to know I’m not the only one it happens to or affects. 🙂