(Closed) How to address a thank you note when someone passed away?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would address it to him but definitely Mention her.


Post # 4
381 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

That’s a tough one. If it were me, I would find out if anyone had a pic of her at the wedding. A really nicepicture and put it in the card. I would say something along the lines of “our thoughts are with you at this difficult time, if you need anything we are here for you. Having her share in our special day with you, is somthing we will cherish forever.  Our deepest symphayhy” 

Post # 5
46374 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would focus on the thanks and not the sympathy. I assume you have already expressed that as you said you have seen him since then.

One of the things that people who have lost a loved one say when asked about their experience, is that people are often afraid to mention the deceased for fear that it will cause pain. It doesn’t. It lets them know that you appreciated the friendship of that person while they were alive and miss them now that they are gone.

Do not be afraid to mention her by name.

I would address the card to him, thank him for the gift that you and____ chose for us. If she was known for her good taste or artistry (whatever is pertinent) mention it. I might say that I was grateful that ___ was able to be at the wedding and share a memory of her on that evening (did she dance with the groom, wish you well, comment on the centerpieces or your dress?)

End by saying something about the gift ( we made strawberry waffles with the waffle-maker last weekend, or we used your generous gift to purchase ____) and thanking him again.

Post # 7
483 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I would probably address the card to Mr & Mrs ______ .  I would do that since the gift was from both of them.  I would also focus of thanking them, and not turn it into a sympathy card.

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