Post # 1
We are only using an outer envelope with our pocket-fold invitations, and I am stuck on how to address the invitations. For our parents’ friends we are doing the traditional “Mr. and Mrs. John Smith,” but I don’t like the idea of omitting the wife’s name on the envelope for our younger married friends. Is it appropriate to write “Jon and Linda Smith” to include both individual’s first names, or is this too casual (our wedding is rather formal).
Thanks for any advice!
Post # 3
I think you’re supposed to do it the formal way if you’re having a formal wedding.
Post # 4
I agree with IA Snowflake – if you are having a formal wedding, you need to keep the tone of the invites formal as well.
Post # 5
Definitely go formal. Your younger friends will appreciate it. We got invited to a wedding after ours, and although we arent married yet, they addressed it to Mr and Mrs Matthew ____ and it made us both giddy to see it right there. I honestly woud take no offense to Mr and Mrs being on there
Post # 6
Personally, formal or informal, I felt strange about using the “traditional” form of address on our invitations. Maybe it’s a feminist thing–I personally do not like being referred to as Mr. and Mrs. Husband’s Name. In fact, it’s one of my personal pet peeves, I simply hate it. I know that this is what traditional ettiquette dictates, but it just rubs me the wrong way. I felt especially weird doing this for my female friends, as they were really the ones getting invited (and their husbands were technically the ‘and guest’).
I wrote “Mr. and Mrs. John Smith” for our older/more traditional guests. For our younger guests I wrote “Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Smith”. Honestly, no one commented on it to us and no one took it as a sign that the wedding was informal (it was a 6:00 evening wedding with dinner reception).
Also, these are just my personal opinions. I know lots of people who like being referred to in this way. I just don’t like it.
Post # 7
Thanks for all of the advice! I ended up doing a combination… went the traditional route for my parents’ friends, family, AND for the friends who I thought would appreciate it, but for some of my/FI’s friends I did “John and Jane Smith.” Like Jessie, I just couldn’t bring myself to leave out the wife’s first name, especially for my female friends. I appreciate that people have lots of different viewpoints on this and hopefully addressed them in a way where our guests will be happy… if they even notice the outside of the envelope that is 🙂
Post # 8
If you want to stick to etiquette, you don’t separate a man’s first name from his last name so technically it should be Jane and John Smith
Post # 9
If you are not comfortable with it, dont do it. Adress them how you want to. After all, in the end it is jsut an envelope.. all the good stuff is on the inside. Make it you, and if you are more casual, then go that way. I started out all proper when I started planning my wedding.. and I still have 10 months, but I have decided, what is the point. I am a casual, go with the flow kinda gril, why stress about how to word something properly if it isnt you.
Post # 10
I struggled with this too, but in the end, I used informal address for everyone. I cannot STAND the “Mr. and Mrs. Hisfirst Hislast” convention and just couldn’t bring myself to use it (FI doesn’t have strong feelings on it either way). Our wedding isn’t terribly formal, and the envelopes are done in calligraphy, so I think it ended up with the medium-formality vibe I was going for, but I wish there was a better way.