(Closed) How to address invitations when you are not using an inner envelope

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
2966 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Are you doing belly bands? We also didn’t have a second envelope, So we listed all names on the belly band closure. On the envelope we put ‘The Smith Family’ for couples with one child or ‘John & Jane Smith and Family’ for multiple children. 

We were pretty informal about it though. So on the small card on the front we put

‘John & Jane,

Timmy, Betsy

and Alfred’ 

Post # 3
Member
349 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015 - country club in Michigan

I didn’t have inner envelopes and I did it exactly as you listed. Include the kids names on the outer envelope. If it’s formal, include titles for the children too (mr/miss)

“Mr John Doe and Mrs. Jane Doe

Miss Daughter Doe, Mr Son Doe

1234 address way

Addressy, State 01234″

 

For super traditional families, Mr. and Mrs. John Doe is the way to address them. I avoided that, but some old-school people really prefer it. 

Post # 4
Member
1603 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would NEVER recommend “and family” — you may end up with neices, etc. 

Post # 5
Member
1120 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

We addressed our invitations traditionally: 

 

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

1234 Main Street Apartment 3

New York, New York 11111

 

And then, on the RSVP card, we included a note saying “Children are welcome – please write names and ages below”, and left two lines for written names. 

 

Hopefully it doesn’t bite us in the butt, with regards to random write-ins… but we thought it was pretty clear cut!

Post # 6
Member
2966 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

View original reply
juanita.kelly.9:  that’s why we put names on the belly band. Plus we did online RSVPs, and you can only submit an RSVP if you’re on the list. So no randoms. 

Post # 7
Member
2076 posts
Buzzing bee

We didn’t have inner envelopes.  So for any family where kids were invited we did this…

Mr. Joe and Jane Smith

Sally, John, and Bobby

1234 Sesame Street Lane

Big Bird, Timbucktoo 09876

Post # 8
Member
1399 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

View original reply
MrsWhitneyC2015:  +1.

We also did interior addressing with belly bands. Worked perfectly and was beautiful in the process. 🙂

Post # 10
Member
50 posts
Worker bee

View original reply
MrsWhitneyC2015:  What did you use to design your online RSVPs? Is there a website that does that or did you write your own?

Post # 11
Member
2966 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

View original reply
midnightjasmine:  I did a 1 year subscription with RSVPify.com. It was I think $25 and way cheaper than printing and stamping rsvps and envelopes. I embedded the form on my wedding website so that anyone who did the online RSVP had to go and see the info on the website. 

Post # 12
Member
1692 posts
Bumble bee

Child safety advocates warn parents not to advertise their children’s names to strangers, since it gives stalkers a way to pretend to be friends of the family, by calling the children by name. That’s one reason that children’s names do not belong on the outside of envelopes. Even though you may have a nice private mailbox, your guests may have insecure mail delivery, or — particularly in older apartment buildings — teeny tiny mail slots that force the postie to leave larger envelopes (like wedding invitations) propped on the shelf where anyone might read them.

Also, your outer envelope acts as a legal instruction to the post office to deliver your mail to the named person, who is the only one who may legally open it. Do you really want the eight-year-old opening and taking responsibility for your invitation? That’s the second reason that children’s names do not belong on the outside of envelopes.

The correct way to address invitations when you choose to forego the outer envelope, is to have the invitations made with a blank “write-in” line on them, like this:

Miss Aspasia Phipps
requests the pleasure of the company of

Mr and Mrs Smith
Miss Smith, Miss Daughter, Master Son <— This part is written in by hand.

to the wedding of her niece
Sophia
to
Mr Talland Handsome…

Note also that, in the English-speaking world outside of the United States, social mail is properly addressed on the outside envelope to the lady of the house; it is only in the U.S. that social mail is properly addressed to both members of a couple.

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