Post # 1
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
I’m wondering how i address invites to people that i know have a significant other but i dont know their significant other at all?
For example, my uncle has been with his girlfriend for about a year and i know her first name and have only met her briefly once. Should I just ask him what it is or try and find it on facebook or something so i can include her name? Or should i jsut address it to him and plus a guest.
Which way would you address this:
Mr. John Doe & Ms. Jane Joe
Or
Mr. John doe & guest
Or something else? thanks
Post # 2
Member
905 posts
Busy bee
Maybe Call and ask.
I was with my bf for about over a year when invited to his friends wedding. they got my first name but misspelled my last name twice.
Actually pretty annoying. ‘guest’ could be offensive especially that they know thta you know of them.
Post # 3
Member
2797 posts
Sugar bee
I would text or call asking for the correct spelling of her first and last name. Then address the envelope with both their names. She is your uncle’s partner so deserves to be invited by name.
Eta: if someone is not in a relationship and you are extending a plus one to them, then you can utilize “and Guest”.
Post # 4
Member
2356 posts
Buzzing bee
It’s a bit of a pain, but you should call/email/text these people and find out. I used a script similar to “Hi, I wanted to confirm your mailing address, is it still 345 Robin’s Egg Lane? We’re sending you a wedding invitation. I also wanted to confirm your partner/boyfriend/girlfriend’s full name, too.”
Post # 5
Member
2827 posts
Sugar bee
I ran into this problem as well and found them on Facebook so I could address the invites to both people. If they aren’t on FB maybe ask another family member or your uncle directly
natasha0b :
Post # 6
Member
47145 posts
Honey Beekeeper
Invitations are properly addressed to each person by name, especially when they have been a couple for a signnificant length of time. Ask him her name.
Post # 7
Member
2557 posts
Sugar bee
Definitely don’t put “& Guest”
For this situation, I reached out to people individually to get their partners full name.
Post # 8
Member
414 posts
Helper bee
If the guest has a long term partner, you should definitely find out her full name.
In the case where you’re allowing a guest to bring someone but you are leaving who up to them, you can put “and guest.”
Post # 9
Member
274 posts
Helper bee
Not to hijack, but I have a related question… my sister frequently changes partners a couple of times a year. But she’s serious with each of them, discussing marriage and going to far as to choose engagement rings etc. I’m worried if I put the name of someone she’s dating on the save the dates, she’ll be a few boyfriends late by september. I’m sending out invites in late June, early July, so I have the same problem. I was going to put “and guest” because she doesn’t live with her current bf, has only been with him for 4 months now, and to mitigate this issue. Is this a bad idea?
Post # 10
Member
1444 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: June 2019 - Cortland, NY
I just made it simple for myself for my 250 guests. If they aren’t engaged or married, I just put “& Guest” – is that wrong? Maybe. Will anyone on earth care? No lol – plus, it does give flexibility. If their boyfriend is in Tulsa for a work conference, they can bring their sister for fun. It’s literally whatever – people don’t REALLY care THAT much.
Post # 11
Member
13461 posts
Honey Beekeeper
People should be invited my name. She’s not an “and guest,” she’s his significant other. Call and ask how to spell her last name. Ask your mother/father to get the info. Do something to invite this person by their full name.
Post # 12
Member
453 posts
Helper bee
- Wedding: July 2019 - Southampton, UK
Since you are inviting her specifically (as opposed to just giving your uncle a ‘plus one’), you should name her specifically on the invite.
Post # 13
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
bluecandy : Thats also something i was thinking of..The uncle im discussing has been married and divorced 3 times already and seems to have a new gf each holiday…This one has lasted longer than usual but im also worried about addressing the invite to her.
Post # 14
Member
1079 posts
Bumble bee
natasha0b : Don’t put “and guest” just because you’re worried they won’t last until your wedding. It’s not your place to make the judgment call on if their relationship is legit or not. You may be right, and she may not last, but maybe she does. It doesn’t do any harm to include her on the invite. If they break up, obviously she’s no longer invited, it’s not like she’ll just show up anyway because she was included on the invite originally. There’s nothing to worry about, I think you’re overthinking it.
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