(Closed) How to address the “when are you getting engaged” questions?

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
350 posts
Helper bee

My answer became:  Do you expect me to propose to HIM?  No?  Then why are you asking ME?  Ask him!

This led to several of my friends asking him, lol.

Post # 4
Member
2561 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I literally would just answer “You will have to ask ‘T’ hat question, I have no idea.” No one really bugged me again. This response is the most effective when given in the presence of your SO … 

Post # 5
Member
522 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I just had to comment to say that the same thing happened to me. I was asked that all the time – just me, no one asked my Fiance. Sometimes they would ask us together, but they would be maintaining eye contact with me while asking. Most of the time I would just say, “I don’t know…why? Do you know something I don’t know??” and feign excitement in my face. The question-asker would usually say, “er…no…” and look a little embarrassed for asking. I didn’t mind doing that because it was almost always someone I barely knew, just being nosy. If a family member asked, I would just say “maybe you should ask him” and they would let it go.

Post # 7
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Near the end of my waiting period I started getting a bit surly with folks who would innocently ask me that infamous question.  At one point, with someone I knew fairly well, I responded with, “I don’t know….when are YOU getting engaged?” (she had only been dating Boyfriend or Best Friend for about 1 year).  But to most, I would respond (in a super sweet tone), “I don’t know but I would LOVE to find out….can you go ask Boyfriend or Best Friend for me??? Let me know what he says will ‘ya?”  This created an awkward position for the rude asker and usually allowed me to avoid the question.  PLUS, I was getting really irritated with Boyfriend or Best Friend at the time for not asking yet (we dated 5.5 years before he popped the question!)

Post # 8
Member
2280 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I just shrug and give them a smile. “Oh, I don’t know.” And I also use the “why don’t you ask him instead of me?” line. I want to know too!

Post # 9
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

this book, “his cold feet” that was mentioned on here says to say “what makes you ask?”. i think that’s pretty good advice. it’s really nobody’s business when you get engaged or why you’re not engaged yet. honestly, this will happen your whole life, now it’s when are you getting engaged, then it’s when are you getting married, then it’s when are you having a baby, etc. it unfortunately never ends.

Post # 11
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I know how you feel, I am sick of this question.  My response is much like the other ladies, I respond “Why are you asking ME?” I mean come on you know I’m not the one who is holding out on the proposal gesh!

I do not know why people insist upon continuously asking me that question, I’m already nearly bonkers over waiting, not like I have no clue how long its been. I could do without them picking at my wounds. LOL.

Post # 12
Member
603 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Haha gotta love that question! After dating 4.5 yrs, i get this question quite frequently..usually I giggle and say “Who knows..!!?” or “Ask him!”

Post # 13
Member
990 posts
Busy bee

Just tell them it will happen when it happens – it’s supposed to be a surprise to you – so why would you know? Telling them to ask him is always a good idea, then!

Post # 14
Member
2408 posts
Buzzing bee

lol, i get that a lot. i don’t know how many people bug the guy about it. i mean, he is the one responsible for that stuff! i usually tell them that once we’re in the same state and i’m finished my master’s program, we’ll be married so they’ll have to wait just like me. if they keep asking, i direct all questions to him.

Post # 15
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

oh i love what makes you ask!! what a great response!!  i usually shrug my shoulders and say i have no idea… or something like that.

Post # 16
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I’m so sorry sweety but i do understand. I have been with my Boyfriend or Best Friend for 8yrs with 3kids and i HATE that question…So when are u getting married? i cant force him. i guess i’m with hellohello answer, Go ask him!

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