(Closed) How to address the “when are you getting engaged” questions?

posted 11 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
Member
519 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

haha, personally when it happened with my ex, I told them to ask him and then my response became “when it happens I guess I’ll know”

People stopped asking after that. lol.

Post # 18
Member
815 posts
Busy bee

Sometimes I’ll laugh and shut my shoulders.  If the question is from someone who shouldn’t be asking me, I’ll bluntly respond, “we’re not.”  That usually shuts down the convo pretty quick.  I like Iggies suggestion too!

Post # 19
Member
1279 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

ugh – now that the holidays are upon us, i am getting the dreaded $64,000 question! fortunately no one has been crass enough to ask both of us, but i am getting it from my coworkers who got to meet him at my company holiday party last night. oy! i’m tired of talking about it already. i see these people practically every day, so i can’t be rude, ya know? sigh. 4 years and counting…

Post # 20
Member
4566 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Ha, I tell them February. Cause… that’s when it is.

Hello, I’m obnoxious and HATE surprises.

Post # 21
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I hate that question too. It just sucks that we are the ones who have to wait and wait. I have been with my BF over 4 years, just this week a coworker got engaged whose been dating her BF 9 months! Boy did that sting….

Post # 22
Member
474 posts
Helper bee

I am not looking forward to the round of holiday parties where I will have to answer that question. I also get irritated when I see people who have not been dating for very long, or are not nice people getting engaged. I think they are going to start recruiting for Bridezilla in my hometown… lol

Post # 23
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2011

seconds to that!

Post # 24
Member
1279 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@speechie – oh i was there at my company holiday party earlier this week and BF’s company party last night. several of his coworkers, some of whom i’ve met before but have never had more than a 5 min conversation with, and the same with my coworkers, ended up talking to a lot more, and many of the conversations went a little something like this:

coworker: so how did you guys meet anyway?

me: Craigslist

coworker: really? wow, that’s great

me: yeah, he’s a diamond in the ruff though. Craigslist isn’t the best avenue for online dating, but it worked out for us

coworker: yeah, that’s great! and how long have you been together?

me: 4 years

coworker (reponse version 1): wow! great! …. (long pause followed by the obvious wheels in head turning to decide whether or not to ask the next question, but thinks better of it and says nothing)… so what are you guys doing for the holidays? (or other small talk-y question)

coworker (repsonse version 2): wow that’s great! so? what’s next?

coworker (response version 3): (nodding) cool. well nice talking to you.

ugh. i. hate. it. suffice to say though, that unless some major disaster happens, this will be my last holiday season dealing with this!!!

Post # 25
Member
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I only dated my Fiance 1.5 years before he proposed. But that didn’t stop people from constantly asking me starting 3 MONTHS!!! into our relationship. I couldn’t believe it. I usually just said “Well, I’d like to get to know him first!” That usually worked.

Post # 26
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I said this on a similar thread but it always has the desired effect so I think it’s worth repeating.

When people ask me, I’ve started saying “we’re waiting until I finish my gender reassignment so everything will be legal.”  Then I walk away while their jaws are still on the floor, lol.

Post # 27
Member
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I just said “I don’t know” or “Ask him” or “We’ve only been together a year and a half.” And if they press the issue I tell them that I’m trying to finish school and that I’d like to be able to legally drink at my wedding. Then they usually drop it. Although the admin at my new job was like “Oh, well I was only 19 when I got married and we’d only known each other 6 months and it’ll be 24 years next March!” Yeah, welllll I’m not you.

Post # 28
Member
2777 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I used to say “He’ll ask me when he’s ready and no sooner”. That shut up most of them! For those really persistent ones I’d go “Well you can propose to him for me if you want”. I think a couple of them actually did! Not whilst I was there though.

Post # 29
Member
299 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I now just answer this with a sad look and a shrug.  If I’m feelin saucy I say never.  I’m getting sick of waiting! 🙁

Post # 30
Member
1106 posts
Bumble bee

Both my BF and I get this all the time.. I usually answer with “That for him to decide not me”…I know he has told me people have asked him (I dont usually ask what he answered with).. weve only been dating for 7 months (although have been best friends for 8 years)..

Post # 31
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I get asked this a lot, too. And even though, I REALLY want to explain to people how rude I think this question is (Obviously we’re not engaged because HE hasn’t asked so why are they asking me?). I usually just smile and say “Oh, I don’t know, we’ll see”. I try to play it cool and act like that is the first time marriage has even crossed my mind.

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