(Closed) How to address wedding invitations

posted 8 years ago in Paper
  • poll: What is the best way to address invitations to married couples:
    Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Doe : (8 votes)
    29 %
    Mr. and Mrs. John Doe : (17 votes)
    61 %
    I have a better way to do it... (explain below) : (3 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 3
    Hostess
    18641 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I just did Mr. and Mrs. Doe instead of including the first name of the husband.

    Post # 5
    Member
    407 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I suggest Mrs. Jane and Mr. John Doe for the most formality…HOWEVER, since some women do not take their husband’s last name’s anymore, I plan to address the envelopes without Mrs/Ms/Mr – so it would just be Jane and John Doe for those that have the same name and Jane Smith and John Doe for those that kept their maiden name.

    Post # 6
    Member
    234 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    After much discussion, we did the Mr. and Mrs. John Doe for the older/old school relatives who we thought would be offended by anything else.  For everyone else we did Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Doe.  My Fiance wasn’t nuts about the fact that there’s “Mrs. John” in the middle, but we still decided it was the best option.  We didn’t go with the “Mr John and Mrs Jane Doe” because we have a lot of friends who are PhD/MDs, and I really didn’t like the look of “Dr. Laura and Mr. Bob Jones” because the “Dr. Firstname” just makes me think of a TV shrink!

    Post # 7
    Member
    2207 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I’m always surprised at the number of people who still use/recommend Mr. and Mrs. John Doe. I’ll admit I’m addressing the invites to my grandparents that way, but that’s it.

    Post # 8
    Member
    240 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    We did Mr. and Mrs. John Doe. Simply because that is the we hope to be addressed – very shortly!!

    Post # 9
    Member
    2249 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2018

    I love being mrs. vistaguy Lastname.

    LOVE it.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2207 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    @ rosepinkslipper & vistagirl: Maybe this just doesn’t apply to your circles of friends and family, but do you see why Mrs. Joe Doe is SUPER offensive to some people? It just seems to me that with the large number of people who don’t like being addressed that way, it is just safer to include the woman’s first name. Please correct me if I’m wrong, but Mrs. Jane and Mr. John Doe doesn’t offend you, right?

    Post # 11
    Member
    295 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    If you’re doing formal invitations, I think it still sounds better to just do Mr. and Mrs. John Doe, as much as I don’t like just using the man’s name. The Emily Post link has some good alternatives if you want to use both names, though. Seems like Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Doe could be a good solution.

    In our case, we didn’t want to use that form, and our wedding invitations (and wedding) were on the informal side anyway, so we solved the problem by leaving the titles off: John and Jane Doe, or The Doe Family when there were kids to include too. This system worked well for us, especially as it was very easy to adapt to couples or families who don’t share a name.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2249 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2018

    @monitajb, I totally see your point!

    For us it is almost more of a joke, Our friends call him Mr. Vistagirl Maidenname now and I sort of love that too. I also call myself Mrs. Bear since bear is his nickname.

    We addressed our invites using only last names, and we offended his widowed great aunt because she insisted it should be addressed to Mre. Husband Lastname, so I guess you cant win em all!


    Post # 13
    Member
    2207 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    @ vistagirl: well, you’re right about that, you can’t win ’em all. Fair point. I addressed all of my grandparents the old-fashioned way for that reason.

    So you went with Mr. and Mrs. Doe? We’re doing Jane and Joe Doe, no titles. Lots of different approaches.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1465 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Mr & Mrs John Doe. That is how most people address it and how it has been done forever, if you want to be traditional. “Mr John and Mrs Jane Doe” is actually considered a very new thing in the last few years so it’s quite unlikely to be found in any etiquette book. I personally have never met anyone who uses or has even heard of that form.

    The topic ‘How to address wedding invitations’ is closed to new replies.

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