Post # 1
Like many of you beautiful brides out there, I too am ready to fit myself for a straight jacket trying to figure out how to pay for my wedding. I lost my job in July and my hubby to be is working to death for a P.O.S. employer who refuses to pay him enough, violates labor laws, etc! He only gets paid minimum wage and we are about to lose our little studio because we can barely pay the bills. I know that I have plenty of time to plan out my wedding but it’s just so discouraging when I see the high cost a wedding entails.
We both decided on having a blacklight themed wedding and I know we can get all kinds of neat little things for cheap, I’m more worried about the price of our wedding attire and getting my hair and cosmetics done in time for the wedding (my fiancee is shooting for next year even though it’s not set in stone). I will be having my hair dreaded professionally by a friend for a good price, but the coloring and the dermal piercings I will be getting aren’t cheap. The dreads take time to mature and piercings need time to heal so you can imagine how much I’ve been stressing on this! Also I have bad acne due to a hormonal imbalance and hope to get my face cleared up in time for the wedding, but I can’t see a dermatologist because of the lack of insurance and….well the cash to pay for the visit.
Because our guestlist is so small and I don’t plan on spending a whole lot on a dress, my budget doesn’t look like it will be too bad, but when you don’t have any money to start with, let alone the looming possibility of losing our home I get upset and almost want to just forget the whole ceremony but it means too much to my FI and I. What’s worse is that I’ve watched all my girlfriend’s have beautiful small weddings that either they could afford or a family member paid for. Neither I or my fiancee have anyone to help us out and things are looking pretty grim employment-wise. Does anyone have any stories or ideas to share what helped them overcome this grief?
Post # 3
I’m sorry for your difficult situation. I think your first priority needs to be for both of you to find new jobs. His isn’t working out well and you lost yours. Yes it is hard to find a new job, but work hard at it! Aside from that, start setting aside small amounts each month to save.
Also, I have no idea so I am sorry if I sound totally ignorant, but will the colored dreads and/or dermal peircings make getting a job more difficult for you? I know it isn’t fair, but people do judge on appearances, so this might want to be a choice to reevaluate if it is worth it.
Post # 4
If the piercings are expensive then maybe they should wait. It might give you more of a cushion for other things!
Post # 5
@LunarWolf: A good tip is to be creative with your venue AND dress style. You don’t need to necessarily get your dress from a bridal salon. Also, I’m confused about how your dermals affect your wedding. Are you getting them specifically as an accessory for the wedding? Every experience is different but mine only took about a week to heal.
Post # 7
Honestly? We don’t make the wedding a priority. If we were literally losing our home, we would spend $500 on a public park permit, officiant, cheap cute outfits and maybe a bouquet. Bing bang boom, done. No way in hell the wedding would even be a thought for us if we didn’t have a decent savings.
Post # 9
We wouldn’t have one if we couldn’t afford it. We would evaluate our situation and decide if we wanted to
1. Get married at the courthouse now and plan a vow renewal for later when we are more financially stable
2. Wait to get married until we are financially stable. (New jobs, a healthy budget, savings, etc.)
A wedding celebration wouldn’t be on our list of priorities in that situation.
Post # 10
We either would have waited until we were stable or we would have gone to the courthouse (we likely would have gone to the courthouse as we didn’t want to wait too long)!
Post # 11
We made a list (did some research) of everything a typical wedding “requires” plus an estimated breakdown of costs (including stupid things you don’t think of, like renting flatware, setup fees, taxes, document fees, etc) and then crossed out everything that wasn’t important to us (flowers, an expensive dress, rehersal dinner, etc)
Beginning to plan and price out our wedding helped, too… we had started to plan out a “dream” wedding with a certain budget, but once it started blowing that budget (and we realized we weren’t getting anything extra for it – just the bare bones basics) we had to drop our original plans and start from scratch.
We learned a lot about budgeting in wedding planning that way, though.
If I were in your shoes, I might either hold off on the wedding for a while (until you can more comfortable afford it) or have a small civil ceremony and have the party a year or so later when I can afford it (a vow renewal).
I also would evaluate your appearence goals in regards to your wedding timeline. I think that putting the extra pressure on yourself to have dreads or piercings/color you want in time for the wedding isn’t helping you relax about things. I would do the same thing we did for wedding planning – make a list of what you want, and decide what isn’t really important to you right now.
I agree with PPs when saying that no, it’s not fair, but maybe having those things might also make it harder to find a job. I know that sucks, but cashflow is (unfortunatley) important. :/
BTW, for the acne thing… I don’t have bad acne, but washing my face with coconut oil has really helped (I use a cloth in a circular motion to help get out dirt and oil) to keep breakouts and excema at bay. I try to let it sit, scrub it in/off, then wipe off as much as I can with a tissue when I’m done.
I can’t access it at work, but there’s a website called purelytwins that talks about how they cleared their acne in a month. I don’t remember how they did it (sorry!) but it might be worth it to check it out.
Post # 12
@soontobemrsm11: +2. You can always have a bigger wedding later on when you in a better finanical position. Right now a wedding should be the least of your focus.
Post # 13
Stay true to what’s going to fit in your budget, and don’t compare your wedding to your friend’s weddings. Every couple is unique, and so is every wedding. The way you two feel on the day is what will make it great, not the amount of $ spent. I would not make any solid plans until you find employment & are more secure with your housing situation. Wedding are stressful enough as is it, if you’re worried about losing your home it’s going to be a nightmare. Alot of places are starting to hire for Christmas help (esp Target, Kohl’s, Macy’s) maybe you can find something temporary to get you through until you find a permanent position. Best of luck to you!
Post # 14
You aren’t going to like my advice…but if you can’t afford your regular lifestyle (bills, rent, any sort of leisure activities), you shouldn’t be spending extra towards a wedding. I would either go to the courthouse and get married that way, or really try to cut back and have a small, simple intimate wedding.
Post # 15
@soontobemrsm11: +1. I don’t live outside my means. Court house weddings have the same end result and you can still focus on what matters in life. What use is having a huge wedding if you end up living on the streets because of it? Jobs come first, always. Savings for real priorities come second. Any extras, like weddings, vacations, or unnecessary spending come third. That’s just what works for us though.
Post # 16
I also agree with the PPs. If you’re worried about losing your home, you can’t afford a wedding. Why not go to the courthouse and get married that way? Then when your finances are better, have a vow renewal.