(Closed) How to announce elopement to extended family and friends?

posted 6 years ago in Elopement
  • poll: Which one?
    only send out announcements after you get married : (37 votes)
    82 %
    send out a letter or card before the ceremony and an announcement after : (7 votes)
    16 %
    other- explain below : (1 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    4930 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    Send out an annoucement afterwards! A girl I know eloped and they took a cute “We tied the knot” picture and used it to make announcements. It was adorable.

    I think it can be kind of tricky to announce it beforehand. People might be wondering why or hurt by the fact that you’re not inviting them. 

    Post # 4
    1855 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Darling Husband and I eloped 2 weeks ago and we called or sent letters to close family/friends once we got back and then made a general announcement a couple days ago to everyone else.  The reception from everyone has been generally great, with a few nay-sayers who have/will come around. We are having a reception next year, so perhaps that contributes to everyone’s excitement, because they still get to participate in part of it.

    I agree that if you send out a card beforehand, people will wonder why and some might even want to come.  Depending on the reasons you’re eloping, then you’ll have to explain.  They may initially feel left out or hurt, but once they see that it was the right decision for you, then it will be okay. 

    Post # 5
    658 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    The idea of eloping to me, is that nobody knows. If they are going to be hurt to not be a part of your day, it wont make much of a difference if you tell them before or after. They still wont feel like a part of your day.

    Post # 7
    1855 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @monicaking77:  Maybe call those closest to you beforehand, then.  We did tell a handful of people what we were doing beforehand, and it was nice to be able to share the excitement with some people IRL and then they were with us in spirit/sending us messages throughout the day of the wedding. 

    Post # 8
    23 posts
    • Wedding: October 1997

    Darling Husband and I eloped many many years ago.  We had been planning our wedding and it just became too crazy.  Too many hands in the pot, so to speak, so we eloped and had an “informal” reception two weeks later.  We sent out invitations the day before we eloped so noone knew in advance BUT had enough time to attend.  We had a wonderful time, and the reception was amazing afterward.  Noone was disappointed!

    Post # 9
    6123 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I don’t feel that eloping these days needs to be kept in secrecy or running off without notice.  Elopements can be planned and loved ones can know about it – it’s still an elopement.


    With that said, any mailings prior to the wedding are not typical – whether it’s a wedding event or elopement.  The annoucements always go out after.

    You can do an annoucement in the paper too.


    I have not notified my extended family yet, and I’ve been married for a few weeks now!  Not sure if I will mail anything.  I’ll let Facebook do that I guess.  Or I may use a wedding photo for a holiday card perhaps.

    Post # 11
    6123 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @monicaking77:  That totally depends on the family! 

    My family was not able to travel and told me in advance, so they were probably quite relieved that i did not invite them.  Just one less thing for them to think about or feel obligated to do.


    I do not know of anyone that felt miffed or hurt.  Everyone understood the situation. 

    Then again, my family is not into weddings.  So the notion of someone being “devasted” if they wren’t there is such a foreign concept to me.  I say you’re letting them off the hook!  Plane tickets, vacation time off, car rental, hotel rental is very costly and not many people want to do it (from my experience) – I did them a favor the way I see it.

    Post # 12
    672 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    We are eloping in 9 days!!! I can’t wait. When we return we will notify our family/friends with a card announcement. I will call my mom and sisters along with my new hubby’s mom & dad. My dad and stepmom will find out in person since they are picking us up at the airport when we fly home from Jamaica.

    In my opinion, I think you should wait until after the wedding to tell people.  

    Post # 13
    137 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    We have sent out these notes: 

    We didnt want to have every thing a big secret for 2 years and it also let people know we are going to be thinking of them, just they wouldnt see is until after.

    Post # 14
    1084 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I vote for just sending the announcement after the fact. 

    I don’t think people will be hurt, I’d actually be more stumped getting someone’s intentionsto marry and not be invited..

    Post # 15
    7561 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I would just send out an announcement after. If you want to notify a few close family members before, maybe call them? Sending out a card before seems really formal, and may hurt some feelings. 

    Post # 16
    4948 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    We sent out pictures via text with us holding a “we eloped!” sign! ha!

    I figure there will always be someone who is “hurt” but they’ll just have to get over it.

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