Post # 1
My biological father passed away in 2013 after a lengthy illness. He never got to meet the amazing man I will be marrying this Oct. or see me truly happy in a relationship. Every time I think about walking down the aisle without my Dad I get all choked up & teary eyed. This is where I’m having difficulty; I have been blessed to have another man in my life that I consider my 2nd Dad. my biological dad knew & respected him. We all spent time together when my bio dad was alive & healthy. 2nd Dad has been there & supported me through nursing school (bio dad was already sick & suffering from alzheimers), always encourages & supports my dreams, & was my rock when my bio dad passed, & has just been the best 2nd dad a girl could have. Because of our close relationship I’ve asked him to walk me down the aisle & “give me away” I would like his response to “who gives this bride” to include my bio dad along with himself & my mother…any suggestions are much appreciated 🙂 thanks bees!!
Post # 2
Following to see what others say. My dad passed away 2 weeks ago. Getting married in July. My cousin who I grew up with is giving me away. We are going to dedicate a dance to my dad, but we haven’t talked about what he’s going to say.
Post # 3
I’m so sorry for both your lossess. I’ve never been in a situation like this so am not sure if this is of any help. My only idea would be to answer 2nd dad/cousin on behalf of or with the blessing of bio dad.
Post # 4
‘her parents and I do’
‘her mother and I do on behalf of her father’
Post # 5
sorry for your loss, my father passed away a few years ago and my mother walked me down the aisle. maybe they don’t do the giving away part in jewish weddings, but our officiant didn’t ask this question.
my mom walked me down the aisle, we greeted DH at the alter. my mom kissed me, kissed my DH then took her seat.
Post # 6
Same situation and getting married on Saturday – I suggested the following to my 2nd dad and he said “I will make sure that your friends and guests understand how much you and Grant are loved by your Mother and Dick and how much joy your wedding will bring them and that I am but the messenger of that Love and Joy!” – so feel free to message me after June 1 and I will be glad to share what he said. These were my suggestions for him – maybe you can work with them to make it work for you!
<li class=”li1″>”With the knowledge that Dick and Ann loved and supported this union as much as I do, I give my blessing.” (my mom and dad have both passed away)
<li class=”li1″>”On behalf of those who are with us, and those who have gone before, I give my blessing.”
Hope some of this help! Katherine
Post # 7
I also haven’t heard the question being asked – like in decades, although I attend mostly Protestant ceremonies, in PA. I didn’t include it in my own wedding 36 years ago. My Dad kissed me, I said “Thanks, Daddy!,” and he walked right over my train, to get to his seat.
Post # 8
I’m so sorry for your loss. I was recently in a wedding where they did not ask this question; after the bride’s father did the hand-off, he went to his seat, where he remained standing along with the rest of the parents of the bride and groom. The priest then asked if the families supported the marriage, and they said they did.
If you do want to specifically include your dad in this moment though, I like @MsGinkgo ‘s wording.
Post # 9
You don’t have to include that part, your ‘second dad’ could just walk you down the aisle then join you and your FI’s hands or something. Or, he could say “her family and I do”.
Post # 10
Khrideon I really like your second suggestion…that may be what we go with 🙂 I know alot of Brides are moving away from the “who gives the bride” question, but our wedding is not only a celebration of our union but also a way that we can honor our family members that have shaped us into the people that we are. As hard as it is planning everything knowing my Daddy wont be there, I know that I want his memory included as much as possible on our wedding day. Our wedding is definitely a mix of some traditional & some uniquely us ideas. My FI has an aunt that raised him for the first 6 months of his life & he spent ALOT of time at her house growing up. As a result of their relationship she will be escorted in with our mothers.
This is what I’m thinking about doing as far as remembrance of lived ones goes: a remembrance table, both our dad’s passed last year about 4 months apart, both our grandparents, & some other family members….I plan on using the blue tie my dad wore when he gave me away at my first marriage to create my something blue…on my walk down the aisle I would like to place either a white rose or a bout in what would’ve been my dad’s seat…including him in the “who gives this bride”…making our cake stand with wood from the farmhouse my dad grew up in.
Is this too much? I don’t want it too seem like it’s all about my dad but I want to include his memory in every part of my day. My FI hasn’t said anything about placing anything in his dad’s seat should I mention it or just let him do what he’s comfortable with? I don’t want it to seem like his dad isn’t important or I didn’t think about him.
Post # 11
We’re actually skipping the entire line … my father will walk me down the aisle.
Post # 12
I am skipping this part. My dad will kiss my cheek & sit down. It’s definitely not necessary!