- 6 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
Hi all! Im a regular poster incognito here, since the friend I am discussing knows my weddingbee username.
I need help dealing with a friend- let’s call her “K.”
K and I been friends since the 7th grade and have been through a lot together. She has been there for me through some tough times and shown me lots of love, and I have done the same for her. We have made so many memories together, traveling through Europe, adventures in school, etc.
Her drinking has always been an issue. Im often worried for her. When she drinks she becomes quite mean, nasty, and vicious. Her worst qualities come out. She acts snobby and rude. The things she says are often hurtful.
The night of my wedding she was wasted and:
- acted very very rudely to my other friends at her table- very snobby
- criticized the food and said it smelled
- cried violently and loudly in various public areas of the hotel
- vomited in 2 or 3 different areas of the venue (a very formal and elegant hotel)-the staff of the venue was cleaning up after her and two of my friends helped wash her hair and dress clean-taking a half hour out of their time at the reception.
We live in different countries. I see her when I visit the States, and we chat on the phone and email often. Because of the distance, I have not had to be around her drunk behavior and have avoided seeing this side of her.
She has often commented on other friends who have confronted her about her drinking. She acknowledges that she should cut down and says she plans to now that she is moving with her new husband to another state.
Although I am furious that she was acting flirtatious with my husband at my wedding, and had my friends washing vomit out of her hair and clothes when they should have been having a good time…I am mostly just sad for her. I feel sorry for her. She needs help.
K always gets furious whenever she is confronted…about anything.
I feel it would be negligent of me not to tell her she needs help. Even though she talks about it from time to time, I should say it, shouldn’t I?
Should I get into details with her about what upset me at the wedding? Or just tell her in general that she needs help?
I have no idea what to do. She seems so fragile and she is going through so many changes in her life- moving to a new place, starting her new marriage, trying to find a new job…I cant imagine dumping this on her now…
But I also can’t imagine ignoring all of this…
What would you all do? Does anyone have experience in dealing with alcoholic friends?
I feel that we’ve been friends for so long and I care about her. But I am so fed up and tired. Our friendship has been one-sided for so long.