(Closed) How to approach that table full of "Haters" at the reception?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1181 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

At least say “hi”.  It will be a lot easier if you have you Fiance by your side.

Post # 4
Member
1935 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@lindseyl06:  uhmmm.. don’t invite them in the first place. 

Post # 5
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Won’t you have said “Hi” to them while you’re getting pics taken before the reception or are you guys not doing that?

Post # 6
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would have Fiance lead the way. You definetly want to say more than a few words to them, especially since it’s Fiance side. If their extremely difficult, be the better person, slap on a big smile and kill them with kindness. 

Just think, your entire guestlist is there for you, and to support you. A couple of people in the crowd should not ruin the mood. Ask them how their dinner was, let his Mom know she looks very beautiful in her dress, thank them for coming and for their support (even if they haven’t)…. There’s always a time and place for everything. Hopefully, because you are being sweet and being the bigger person, they’ll take the hint and be mature too.

Post # 8
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’d probably go up and give a big HELLO Mom and give her a hug.  That way everyone at the table/wedding can see SHE”S the crazy rude one 😀 

I feel for you, hang in there. 😀

ETA: of course that would have to be after a drink or two lol

Post # 9
Member
1935 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@lindseyl06:  ew. Ok, I guess that’s not an option. So I say kill them with kindness. I know a few people that don’t like me (some former co-workers) so whenever I used to see them, I’d really go out of my way to say hello, ask how they’re doing – basically taking the power position in the situation. 

Walk up to them with your hubby on your arm, and tell them how happy you are that they are there, give them hugs, and smile your a$$ off. Nothing will piss off haters more than you being happy. 

And then go enjoy your evening!

Post # 10
Member
8695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I cant stand the word “hater.” However, I agree with PPs suggestion and, as an adult, just be the bigger person. Speak to them and keep it moving.

Post # 11
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 1993

@Future_Ms.Bostonceltics: 

 

great advice. Be the better person, they may have a change of heart 

Post # 12
Member
6355 posts
Bee Keeper

Greet pleasantly, don’t react as if you noticed the snubbing you expect in response, stand and smile for a decent amount of time while Fiance chats, then slip away. My motto is don’t be fake, but be gracious.

Post # 13
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Future_Ms.Bostonceltics:  +1

Stay sweet, smile and be the bigger person. It’s your day, you’ll look like a princess and you’re going to carry yourself like one. Then…go dance!!

Post # 14
Member
1606 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@lindseyl06:  I am going to go against the grain here and say you should go up to them without the Fiance. Be the bigger person and kill them with kindness – regardless of what they say or don’t say in return.

“SO glad you could make it!”
“We’re honored for you to be here”
“It means a lot for us that you would join us on our special day”

If they dislike you *a lot* then they may be negative back – don’t fall into it. Just tell them where the drinks are – or that your looking forward to cutting the cake or seeing Fiance dance with his mother.

They may be not speaking to you or it could be a misunderstanding. I like to use this to show that I have a backbone – I can stand up for myself – that I don’t need Fiance to fight my battles – I am a big girl – AND that I am generally a sweet and kind person who really likes to be positive and happy and get along with people. Usually when I do this the people completely chnage their attitudes because it appears as though I have forgotten any or all past woes between us and they can start anew.

It’s an idea at least and if you will have them as family for the rest of your foreseeable future it may be worth it to make a sweet attempt at a memorable event.

Post # 15
Member
1430 posts
Bumble bee

I would look as your wedding day as a fresh start. His family is now your family whether you like it or not. I would give them a big hug and complement how nice they look, ask if they are having a good time and tell them how happy you are to be celebrating this day with all the most important people in your lives. And then moveeee on and have fun!

Post # 16
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@lindseyl06:  don’t snub them by saying hi and walking off.  Put on your most gracious hostess hat, if you must – pretend they are the loveliest strangers you’ve ever met, and kill them with kindness:  “How are you?”  “You like beautiful”  “Isn’t Darling Husband so handsom” “I hope you have a wonderful time”  “you are going to love the cake”….. just any sort of small talk to get you through the moment.  Trust me, it will be much easier than how it will feel it will play out.  Have one focus on your wedding day:  that’s it’s about you and your new husband and the love you share.  Every other detail or drama, at that point in time, is irrelevant.

Also, since it’s FI’s family – he’ll likely be the one driving the conversation and interaction, so there isn’t going to be much you’ll need to do except put on a smile and do the best you can do!

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