(Closed) How to ask a bridesmaid not to wear facial piercing to wedding

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 31
Member
432 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I would ask her to wear a stud instead of a ring.You won’t notice it unless you are doing a side on shot.

Post # 32
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee

This is not about having an open and honest conversation with a friend. It is about being rude and shallow and treating people like props.  If you want people to be uniform join the Army. These are individuals who are supposed to be the ones you love the most. And even worse than asking them to remove it would be to photoshop it out. I would consider that friendship ending. FTR I am a MOB who isn’t a big fan of tattoos or piercings. None of my girls would have dreamed of treating their friends in such a manner. Including the bridesmaid with a naked fairy tattoo on the nape of her neck. Everyone saw it when she stood by my daughter.  That is who she is and we love her.

Post # 33
Member
4044 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I had a friend with insane color hair in my wedding party. I didnt ask because thats who she is. Honestly, I love my bridal party pictures but the pictures I really love are of my husband and I. I also dont think her weird color hair messed up/ruined any of my photos. Then again, I am pretty laid back and wasn’t looking for “picture perfect” everything on my wedding day.

I wouldnt risk her getting annoyed by asking her. 

Post # 34
Member
35 posts
Newbee

Although some bees are saying you don’t have right to say something because she is your friend  i do see your point. (Slight tangent) one of my bridesmaid is heavily tattooed, pierced and constantly changing her hair color – i have found it extremely difficult finding a bridemaid dress tocomplement her style and all the colors (neutrals don’t work and colors are too colorful) and it’s partly because of all the modifications. I took her twin for fun and because she wasn’t avaliable BIG mistake – i found a few dresses that looks great on her twin – two weeks later i asked my bmaid to try it on it didn’t look good. And now i can’t help thinking about it. At the moment i’ve just asked her to find dresses she likes and we’ll see how we go. ANYWAY Maybe as a bridemaid gift you could source some jewellery that’s discrete especially if it’s just in one nostril piercing or if her piercing is like the pic below you can easily flip it up into your nose without taking it off it won’t close any holes up, it’s painless and after photos are done you can flip it back down – i suppose it also depends on her personality and if she open to doing that for you – i think you can ask without offending or destroying the friendship. 

 

keep us posted, all the best

Post # 35
Member
522 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
TinderBoxx:  Not if it’s a new piercing you can’t. Septems take 6-8 months to heal and even then leaving it out for hours could lead to it closing up and needing to be repierced depending on how picky it is. 

Post # 36
Member
5360 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

Hmmm… I’m not so sure I agree with people here. If it’s something she got after you asked her, I think it’s a fair concern. You didn’t know she was going to have it or you may have made your decision based on not wanting it in pictures. 

I think it’s like any jewelry… some brides specify what they want their bridesmaids to wear. How is this any different? If you don’t want her to wear it and she doesn’t have one of those things you can put in to stop it from closing up but not be seen, then buy her one. I think that is exactly the same as requiring specific shoes or whatever and offering to pay for it. 

Post # 37
Member
7225 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

If you were good enough friends to ask her to be a bridesmaid, you should be a good enough friend to talk to her freely and openly.

That being said, you don’t. She’s not there to change her body and lifestyle to be a prop for your wedding.

Post # 38
Member
215 posts
Helper bee

Does she have a hoop or a horseshoe? The horse shoe can be spun and tucked up into the nose and you can’t tell its there. My sis had hers done and slipped hers up into her nose for school pics and stuff

Post # 39
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Wait… why is dictating what she wears in her nose any different than in her ears or her neck or the type of dress? Don’t you typically decide what jewelry and dress and overall look your bridesmaids have? I don’t really see how it’s any different… If I had some piercing or look that the bride didn’t want, I’d have no issue with her asking me to remove/conceal it. It’s their wedding photos and I’d understand if she wanted a type of uniform look or whatever. I don’t care, and I’d be concerned if someone were offended about it. What’s the big deal? I would HOPE she felt close enough to me to ask me to wear/not wear something for her wedding if I’m in the bridal party. Maybe my normal fancy-occasion makeup is super bold and shadowy, and her wedding look is bright and pastel-y, and yeah it would look sorta out of place and maybe she wouldn’t like that. Not that she cares normally or has any problem with how I do my makeup or what I wear, but maybe she just doesn’t want an odd-look-out in all her bridal photos. Very understandable, in my opinion, and I’d totally tone down my makeup for her. Normally she wouldn’t care if I showed up in a black cocktail dress to a fancy occasion either, but hey, I’m in the bridal party at her wedding, and she wants a certain look, and provides direction on the dress… so when it’s all cosmetic and easily adjustible… that’s totally fine with me. 

I won’t speak to tattoos because I don’t have one, but if I did and it were big an bold, I wouldn’t be offended if the bride asked me to use some concealer on it to make it less stand-outish either. Again, I understand the bride wanting her and her groom to be the focal point of the photos. If I’m visually bold in some cosmetic way, I think that’s totally understandable for her to request that I tone my normal however-I-choose-to-look-while-I’m-not-part-of-an-organized-group way so I don’t draw the eye away from them.  

But seriously, we’re not talking hey-lose-50lbs or anything. In fact, you’re paying a good it of money for the dress and shoes and maybe jewelry or whatever, so who is going to balk about taking out a piercing? 

However, I don’t think you can ask because I think that needs to stay in for many months after it’s done, so… if she’s had it for years, and she’s close enough to you to be in her party, I don’t think it’d be any different than “Hey wear these earrings/this necklace/not this…” but since it would probably mess it up for her, you can’t really ask at that point because you can’t take a piercing out so soon without ruining it. So… it is sort of irrelevant, I think. 

Post # 40
Member
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Oh, just ask! She’s your friend, she knows you don’t mean anything bad by asking her! Tell her you would love a more “sweet and innocent” style for your wedding, or something. It’s not like you are asking her to shave her hair. She can put it back in when the ceremony is over and the photographys are taken! 

Post # 41
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

View original reply
MexiPino:  I totally agree. You said it much more succinctly than I did. haha.

Post # 42
Member
15 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2016

View original reply
monsterly:  I completely agree!! She should definitely understand! Also, depending on your venue, it may not be appropriate, like if you are being married in a Catholic Church.

Post # 43
Member
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

“However, I don’t think you can ask because I think that needs to stay in for many months after it’s done, so… if she’s had it for years, and she’s close enough to you to be in her party, I don’t think it’d be any different than “Hey wear these earrings/this necklace/not this…” but since it would probably mess it up for her, you can’t really ask at that point because you can’t take a piercing out so soon without ruining it. So… it is sort of irrelevant, I think. “

 

If this would be the case, maybe you could ask her to just wear a little “stick” through the piercing-hole, instead of the ring! Maybe skin colored, you know those plastic things that comes in every color possible that people with piercings wear! I saw a girl wearing a skincolored at her cheek one, it looked like a pimple! haha, any way, that no one would hardly notice!

 

In talking about something looking like this:

http://www.monstersteel.com/wholesale-body-jewelry/Flesh-Color-Half-Ball-No-See-Um-Acrylic-Tongue-Barbell-nid-700488.html

 

It would be almost invinsible, with nothing hanging out of her nose! It’s totally understandable that you don’t want anyone looking like a punk rocker or something in your bridal party. I agree on everything Spideringspider said!

Post # 43
Member
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

She could wear something looking like this!

http://www.monstersteel.com/wholesale-body-jewelry/Flesh-Color-Half-Ball-No-See-Um-Acrylic-Tongue-Barbell-nid-700488.html

It would be almost invisible and you don’t have to worry about your bridal party looking like a gang of punk rockers!

I don’t know what part of the body the one I posted was for, but I am sure there must be something similar to have for a septum piercing.

Post # 43
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Hopefully you won’t need to ask!

One of my BMs has a crazy number of ear piercings and approached me a few weeks before the wedding to see what if I’d prefer that you not wear them all.

In my experience, people who have “over the top” looks KNOW they have over the top looks and are generally respectful of the aesthetic of your day.

Bottom line – hope she asks your preference. Otherwise, don’t ask. You picked her because of your relationship, not her septum. 🙂

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