Post # 1
Member
11324 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
I’ve been engaged a few weeks and I won’t be married for over a year… but I know who I **almost** know who I want to be in my bridal party. I decided on a Maid/Matron of Honor, and I know I want another friend to be a bridesmaid. The only thing I’m undecided on is whether to ask a third girl to be a second bridesmaid. All three girls live in three different cities and are not friends with each other (kind of best friends from different periods of my life).
So now two questions:
1) Should I wait to ask the first two until I am sure about yes/no on the third?
2) How to do it? I talk to the two girls more online than anything else, and I only see them every few months in person. Part of me just wants to bring it up next time we talk, however that may be. Then I think that isn’t special enough and maybe I should wait and do it in person? And another part of me thinks that maybe I should try to do something special like write them each letters (who doesn’t love snail mail) and find something little to mail them to ask?
I dunno… what did you girls do to ask your girls ?
Post # 3
Member
1700 posts
Bumble bee
I didn’t do anything special, I just asked mine either over the phone or online LOL. I honestly didn’t know about all of these other cute ways to do it before I found Weddingbee!
Post # 4
Member
3575 posts
Sugar bee
I didn’t do anything special either. My Maid/Matron of Honor is my sister-in-law and she lives in Germany. I skyped with her to see her face when I asked her. Then one bridesmaid lives in NYC and the other in Atlanta. I just asked them over the phone.
They don’t know each other at all but I know they’ll all get along.
Post # 5
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee
You could write them a note or give them a gift if you want and if it’s you… but I’m like the other commenters. I asked most of my BMs and my Maid/Matron of Honor and man of honor either over the phone or in person when I saw them. I actually bought special stationary to write them heartfelt notes, but I couldn’t wait for it to come in and wound up asking them all verbally. Since they don’t know each other, I think it’s fine to ask the two you’re definitely sure about while you’re waiting to ask the third. It’s not like they’re going to be comparing notes or like they’ll know that you asked one or two of them significantly before you asked another.
Post # 6
Member
3281 posts
Sugar bee
My best friend just assumed I knew I would be her Maid/Matron of Honor, although when the time came when she got engaged I wish she would have asked me because I felt kind of awkward because I didnt want to just assume that I was Maid/Matron of Honor. Eventually she said something about me being her Maid/Matron of Honor and i was relieved lol
Post # 7
Member
2395 posts
Buzzing bee
I have two MOHs and I asked them before I was even engaged lol. The other 4 bridesmaids pretty much knew they were going to be in the wedding, as we’ve all been friends forever and that “when I get married” discussion had come up before. Once we got engaged, I called each to share the good news and was like “you’re going to be a bridesmaid right?!”
As for asking the two beforehand, I’d say go for it! The girls aren’t friends with each other and don’t even live near each other, so there shouldn’t be any awkward encounters. You could just tell the other two that if your budget permits, you’d really like to ask another friend, but you have to wait and see… something along those lines.
Post # 8
Member
4566 posts
Honey bee
I totally want to make dorky handmade cards… but I’m also a huge dork who doesn’t get to see her friends that often cause they’re 400 miles away.
Post # 9
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
I went to ask my sister and she said obviously I was going to ask her. Which yes, it was quite obvious. With my bridesmaids I asked one over dinner, one over drinks, and one right before the enagagement party. They all live in different places so I asked them months apart, primarily because I wanted to do it in person.