(Closed) How to ask a touchy question

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1982 posts
Buzzing bee

Unfortunately, you can’t ask her if she’s trying to get pregnant or not. That’s a touchy, very private issue for which they don’t owe anyone an answer. Sorry! I’d like to think you’d know soon, so you can plan accordingly, but you cannot demand when people have kids.

Post # 4
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Oooh…uh, I really don’t know if you can ask her to do that! Having a child is such a HUGE thing. If she is using a family planning method, and she is really excited about the wedding, my guess is that she is already thinking about this. If she is having trouble conceiving, you risk opening a GIANT can of worms with her by bringing this up. I think this is one of those things where you just have to let go of control.

Post # 5
Member
1075 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I would just start out by letting her know how much you would appreciate her attendance to your wedding.  With that being said, if she happens to be pregnant around that time, there isn’t too much she or you can do about it.  I don’t know her so I am not sure if she would be the type of person to plan her pregnancy around your wedding or not.  I know I wouldn’t.  That would be a lot to ask of someone.  But again, I’m a firm believer that things do happen for a reason.  I sure hope that she will be able to make it to your wedding though.

Post # 6
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I don’t think you can ask someone to not be pregnant around the time of your wedding.  From your perspective, getting married is a huge deal, but think about it from her perspective – having a child is a big life change too!  Imagine how you would feel if she asked you to move your wedding date because she WAS going to have a child then.  

 

They are both major milestones in people’s lives.  I would let her know that you really hope she can be there with you, but you understand if life gets in the way (and it sounds like this is kind of hypothetical – as far as you know she isn’t currently pregnant and she hasn’t actually talked about TTC etc).

 

Good luck!

Post # 8
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee

I think if you two are close she’ll be cautious in timing.  Technically speaking, only after the 36th week can you not fly while being pregnant.  She should be fine if she’s in a healthy pregnancy.  Flying with a newborn would not be most conveinent but I’d do it for my sister and vice versa!

Post # 10
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee

Hi,

If your sister has already accepted your request to be your matron of honor, she is probably already thinking/planning to be present at your wedding-so I wouldn’t worry about it. –Unless you want to ask her if you need to change your wedding date to accomodate for any reason she might have for not being able to attend on that date;) lol

Post # 11
Member
5498 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I don’t think it’s something you should ask her, even if she is your sister. It’s very personal and if she gets pregnant at the time of your wedding I’m sure she would make arragements so she could be there. = )

Post # 12
Member
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

In addition to the 36 weeks – newborns can fly very quickly after birth.  My family was military and my mother flew with me a month after I was born on an 8 hour flight.  It’s clearly not fun to have a newborn on a 15 hour flight, but easier newborn than a 6 month old. 🙂

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