Post # 1
When I first booked hair & MU, I asked all the BMs/family if they wanted it done and sent them a price sheet. I was paying for a bunch of other stuff and not requiring them to do anything, so it was on them. (I didn’t word it like that, but let them know how much it would be and I wasn’t covering it).
My wedding was over a week ago, and the day of no one brought money. it ended up ok because I already paid a large deposit upon booking, so I just paid the remaining and now for everyone could just pay me back. I only felt bad because I was assuming they would bring money to tip, but I assumed wrong. I only had enough to tip them based on my personal total, so that’s all they got. They have both gone through this many times before, so I am not sure why they looked like a deer in headlights when the lady asked politely when walking out for final payment. I should have included “remember your Hair/MU payments” in my mass email, but I didn’t. oh well.
My FMIL/SIL, Mom, and sister all paid me back this past week. The only remaining ones are my two BMs. I feel terrible asking them for money, especially when I don’t see them often. How am I going to say, “Hey can I have that $150?” It’s almost $300 they owe combined, so it’s not exactly petty change I can forget (I wish I had that luxury).
I just feel awkward talking about money with people in general, let alone asking people to pay me back.
Post # 2
Maybe wait until you next speak to them and find a way to ask, if they haven’t paid you already. There’s no good answer here. It’s rude of them to put you in a position to have to chase them for money. And there’s no good way for you to do so.
Post # 3
If it were me, I would send each a private message (however you best communicate, text, email, etc) and just say something along the lines of:
“I hope you’ve been well since the wedding! I wanted to say thank you again for being my bridesmaid and sharing in my day with me. I know things have been hectic, but if you could please send me your portion of the money for the cost of hair and makeup, it would be greatly appreciated! Talk to you soon!”
You are not out of line to ask for that money immediately – $300 is no small sum of money and there’s no reason why you should be out that money in the first place. You’ve been generous enough to cover it on the day when they should have paid themselves, it’s time for them to pay you back, and promptly.
Post # 4
Do you do bank online? Just send them an email saying, “Hey BMs, Thanks again for being part of my big day! This is the best email to use if you prefer to e-transfer the $150 for hair/makeup. Otherwise, we can arrange a coffee date, catch up and do it then. :)”
Passive-agressive all the way! hahaha
Post # 5
LastGirlStanding: oh i agree 100% haha! sounds just like me.
Post # 6
LastGirlStanding: 100% best way to ask for money love it !
Post # 7
Post # 8
LastGirlStanding: I would be offended to receive an email like that. You turn a friendship into a business transaction.
If you truly can’t let it go, ask them outright. Don’t do a silly little dance around it – respect your friends enough to let them keep their word, rather than skirting the issue like they’re unreliable. Personally, I would rather lose $300 than have this really awkward moment of demanding money from a friend.
Post # 9
JiminyCricket: Right now it is a business transaction. As a friend they should’ve respected her enough not to put her in position to pay, knowing well it was optional and they should’ve paid.
LastGirlStanding: I love that idea!
texaslemon: IMO, friends you have to run after for money they owe you aren’t really friends at all!
Post # 10
Even though I am not a fan of passive aggression, I actually think your answer makes a lot of sense.
Post # 11
Totally the reason why we paid for everything for our wedding! I’d just let it go if I were you.