(Closed) How to Ask Bridesmaids

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

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npoliver :  I just took them out, gave them a piece of jewellery (small gift) and asked them to be my bridesmaid/MOH.  I agree it should be more formal than just a text, but you certainly are not obligated to go “above and beyong” ie: sending flowers or gift baskets.  Afterall, with wedding expenses, things will add up anyway, so this helps keep initial costs low.

Post # 3
152 posts
Blushing bee

All my bridesmaids are abroad so I had to send them a text! I don’t think anyone is expecting anything more formal than that but on the day of the wedding I plan on writing them a letter and giving a small gift to thank them for being part of the bridal party and for being an awesome friend 🙂

Post # 4
30399 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

There’s nothing wrong with just asking them in person. Meet for coffee lunch, whatever. I think it’s important to make them feel comfortable to say no. That may mean not showing up with a gift.

Post # 5
1506 posts
Bumble bee

My bridesmaids expected to be bridesmaids because of the nature of our friendships–all were at one point a life stage best friend (college, grad school, work, etc.) Who I still talk to regularly. I don’t live near any of them anymore so I just called each of them. 

Post # 6
2229 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Phone call, coffee, nothing over the top or you are really pressuring them

Post # 7
10631 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

View original reply
Innerdonught :  

I do agree . I think some of the  – to me – OTT ways (gifts,  flowers, baskets, cutesy cards and boxes,  taken out to dinner , songs , poems..) in which putative bridesmaids are asked must make it almost impossible to say ‘no thank you’ !

If the bride not only knows them very well but also  knows they expect to be asked maybe it’s fine   but if there is any doubt  , well, it should be made easy to say ‘thank you but I can’t’ . If I was to do  it now, I;d ask them in person or by  phone  and say I didnt need  them to answer there adn then. If and when they said yes I’d do the present giving things.  

Post # 8
1021 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I had each of mine over (ive only got 2) and i asked one over pizza with wine and the other over chanpagne and thai food 😃

Post # 9
3589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I asked them by saying ‘will you be my bridesmaid?’. Done! You can do something fancier if you like but you really don’t need to stress about it. Organise a get together and just ask!

Post # 10
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I gave mine each a card in which I asked them and talked about our friendship. they all loved them (one girl even teared up!)

Post # 11
1080 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I just asked mine over dinner/drinks.

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