Post # 1
This is a controversial subject here….I am asking them to pay for a dress that i am picking out (kinda… I’m picking a line of dresses they can choose from, whatever they like the best).
I’m trying to find the best way to ask them politely what their budget is?
And out of curiousity for those who picked their dresses out like me, how much were they?
I’d like to keep them as low cost as i can, but i’m trying the guess what most people paid. thanks
Post # 2
You have to just point blank ask them that are comfortable paying.
I’m a bridesmaid in my friends wedding this May. She asked all of us bridesmaids (5) what we were comfortable spending on a dress as she Was having us purchase them.
We each told her what we were comfortable with and she came back with options and we all picked a dress that we liked most. The cost of the dress was $72. There is no point to tip toe around, just ask.
Post # 3
Just ask them. “How much are you able to spend on a dress?”
I am picking a dress for my bridesmaids, their budget is $150 and if I go over that budget I will pay the difference (so if I end up picking a $200 dress, they will pay $150 and I will cover the extra $50).
Post # 4
As PPs mentioned, you just ask. I mean these are presumably the people closest to you as you asked them to stand up for you at your wedding.
However, what those posts missed was that you should ask them individually. Do not do a group text or mass email. People generally don’t want to be the party pooper who has to admit they can only spend $50 on a dress when everyone else said four times that. So they’ll go along not wanting to cause problems. Just contact each person individually, tell them you are starting to look at dresses and wanted to know what budget they are comfortable with, and then pick dresses that are within the lowest budget.
Post # 5
Yes definitely ask individually, I have four bridesmaids and I discussed it with them privately.
2 gave me the $150 budget, one said she could spend $200 and the other said she was happy to spend anything – therefore I went with the lowest budget which was the $150.
Post # 6
I told my best friend before she even asked that I didn’t want to spend more than $200 on a dress. Idk how she approached it with the other girls but she and I have been friends for 14 years so it’s nothing to tip toe around. I would imagine that if these girls are your bridesmaids you should be close enough to flat out ask. FWIW I ended up getting the dress when it was on sale so it was $165 WITHOUT alterations so keep that in mind also. I only need the length shortened and it’s $38.
Post # 7
Here (UK) if the bide wants a particular dress for the bridesmaids she pays for it.
Post # 8
-ask individually and privately
-go with the lowest budget
-leave room for alterations (ie budget is 100 don’t pick a 95$ dress)
-consider shoes and other ‘required’ accessories in the total cost as well
Post # 9
natasha0b : Just going through this with my two girls now. My Maid/Matron of Honor doesn’t need to worry about money and happy to pay whatever, but my other Bridesmaid or Best Man is a bit less secure.
I literally just said in text to her: “hey dude, what’s your budget for a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress? I’m thinking no more than a few hungy – maybe around $150”?
She replied “yeah bud sounds good”. If the dress needs alterations she’s excellent with a sewing machine (makes her own clothes), so she would do it herself.
Don’t overcomplicate it. They’re your bridesmaid because you’re close right? You should be able to ask without feeling guilty. If they didn’t want to pay anything I kind of feel like they either should have said that already, or politely declined the invitation.
But, I’m letting my BMs pick whatever dress they’re comfortable with, so long as they both like it, and they both can afford it. I’m only picking the colour. Lol don’t care what the style is so long as they’re happy. For reference, they’re also buying their shoes, but I’m paying for everything else (hair/makeup/jewelery/transport etc.)
I feel like if you start dictating choice, you should rethink pushing the whole cost to them.
Post # 10
(I’ll put my opinion on bridesmaids dresses aside) as cheesy as this sounds I would have all the girls secretly put their budget on a piece of paper (no name) and have them all put it in an envelope or something. Not even the bride to know what each girl feels comfortable spending. Free from any judgment or embarrassment. Go with the lowest budget.
Post # 11
natasha0b : Ask them plainly and SEPARATELY. Don’t make a group email because then if the first girl say “$500 is fine for me” to everyone the others may feel uncomfortable speaking up if that’s too high for them and don’t give a suggested amount.
Post # 12
natasha0b : it may also be helpful to let them know how much other things will cost. For example, when I was a maid of honor, my bride told me she didn’t want a bachelorette party, therefore i could spend more on a dress. For me it’s the total budget.
Post # 13
Agree with PPs to ask each girl individually, and then obviously stick to the lowest budget. I did this and my Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses were $90 CAN.
Post # 14
Thanks everyone for your advice!! For anyone from Canada, where did you get the bridesmaid dresses from?
Post # 15
Just flat out ask each of them personally what their budget is. If they’re close enough to be in your wedding you should feel comfortable asking this and they ideally would be grateful you’re taking their finances into consideration. W.here I’m from bridesmaids pay for their own dresses regardless on who picks it and brides are typically considerate of cost when picking the dress. I agree with pp, pick a dress that sticks with the lowest budget unless you are willing to pay the difference.