How to ask bridesmaids budget?

posted 7 months ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee

You have to just point blank ask them that are comfortable paying. 

I’m a bridesmaid in my friends wedding this May. She asked all of us bridesmaids (5) what we were comfortable spending on a dress as she Was having us purchase them.

We each told her what we were comfortable with and she came back with options and we all picked a dress that we liked most. The cost of the dress was $72. There is no point to tip toe around, just ask. 

Post # 3
Member
427 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2020

Just ask them. “How much are you able to spend on a dress?” 

I am picking a dress for my bridesmaids, their budget is $150 and if I go over that budget I will pay the difference (so if I end up picking a $200 dress, they will pay $150 and I will cover the extra $50).

 

Post # 4
Member
4495 posts
Honey bee

As PPs mentioned, you just ask.  I mean these are presumably the people closest to you as you asked them to stand up for you at your wedding.

However, what those posts missed was that you should ask them individually.  Do not do a group text or mass email.  People generally don’t want to be the party pooper who has to admit they can only spend $50 on a dress when everyone else said four times that.  So they’ll go along not wanting to cause problems.  Just contact each person individually, tell them you are starting to look at dresses and wanted to know what budget they are comfortable with, and then pick dresses that are within the lowest budget.

Post # 5
Member
427 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2020

Yes definitely ask individually, I have four bridesmaids and I discussed it with them privately.

2 gave me the $150 budget, one said she could spend $200 and the other said she was happy to spend anything – therefore I went with the lowest budget which was the $150.

Post # 6
Member
2477 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I told my best friend before she even asked that I didn’t want to spend more than $200 on a dress. Idk how she approached it with the other girls but she and I have been friends for 14 years so it’s nothing to tip toe around. I would imagine that if these girls are your bridesmaids you should be close enough to flat out ask. FWIW I ended up getting the dress when it was on sale so it was $165 WITHOUT alterations so keep that in mind also. I only need the length shortened and it’s $38. 

Post # 7
Member
2794 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Here (UK) if the bide wants a particular dress for the bridesmaids she pays for it. 

Post # 8
Member
6566 posts
Bee Keeper

-ask individually and privately

-go with the lowest budget

-leave room for alterations (ie budget is 100 don’t pick a 95$ dress)

-consider shoes and other ‘required’ accessories in the total cost as well

Post # 9
Member
1073 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

natasha0b :  Just going through this with my two girls now. My Maid/Matron of Honor doesn’t need to worry about money and happy to pay whatever, but my other Bridesmaid or Best Man is a bit less secure.

I literally just said in text to her: “hey dude, what’s your budget for a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress? I’m thinking no more than a few hungy – maybe around $150”?

She replied “yeah bud sounds good”. If the dress needs alterations she’s excellent with a sewing machine (makes her own clothes), so she would do it herself.

Don’t overcomplicate it. They’re your bridesmaid because you’re close right? You should be able to ask without feeling guilty. If they didn’t want to pay anything I kind of feel like they either should have said that already, or politely declined the invitation.

But, I’m letting my BMs pick whatever dress they’re comfortable with, so long as they both like it, and they both can afford it. I’m only picking the colour. Lol don’t care what the style is so long as they’re happy. For reference, they’re also buying their shoes, but I’m paying for everything else (hair/makeup/jewelery/transport etc.)

I feel like if you start dictating choice, you should rethink pushing the whole cost to them.

Post # 10
Member
847 posts
Busy bee

(I’ll put my opinion on bridesmaids dresses aside) as cheesy as this sounds I would have all the girls secretly put their budget on a piece of paper (no name) and have them all put it in an envelope or something. Not even the bride to know what each girl feels comfortable spending. Free from any judgment or embarrassment. Go with the lowest budget. 

Post # 11
Member
7856 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

natasha0b :  Ask them plainly and SEPARATELY. Don’t make a group email because then if the first girl say “$500 is fine for me” to everyone the others may feel uncomfortable speaking up if that’s too high for them and don’t give a suggested amount. 

Post # 12
Member
1117 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

natasha0b :  it may also be helpful to let them know how much other things will cost. For example, when I was a maid of honor, my bride told me she didn’t want a bachelorette party, therefore i could spend more on a dress. For me it’s the total budget.

Post # 13
Member
2755 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Agree with PPs to ask each girl individually, and then obviously stick to the lowest budget. I did this and my Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses were $90 CAN. 

Post # 15
Member
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Just flat out ask each of them personally what their budget is.  If they’re close enough to be in your wedding you should feel comfortable asking this and they ideally would be grateful you’re taking their finances into consideration.  W.here I’m from bridesmaids pay for their own dresses regardless on who picks it and brides are typically considerate of cost when picking the dress.   I agree with pp, pick a dress that sticks with the lowest budget unless you are willing to pay the difference. 

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