(Closed) How to ask FIL’s about deceased grandparents

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 4
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Hmmm….tricksome.

I can relate a bit because my family is very open about these things (wills, burial plots, funeral plans, illness, death…we talk about it!) and my DH’s family is not.  At all.  

I can understand your frustration with your Fiance, because it’s so different from what you’re used to.  Honestly, his difficulty dealing with death is probably something you’re going to have to address at some point, but I don’t know if that point is now.

Here’s what I’d do: email his fam and explain that you want to create a memory table, which would include photos, etc. of people who have played an important role in both you and your FI’s lives.  I would not focus on how his grandparents died, but you could say that you’d like to include a bit about where they were married, etc.  I would also say something about how you are interested in family history and you really want to get to know the people who helped make your Fiance such a great man.  

Hope that helps a bit.  🙂

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