(Closed) How to ask FMIL about family heirloom dress?

posted 7 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
Member
2313 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Maybe show her some pictures of dresses similar to that one and tell her you’re sort of leaning in that direction and see if she connects the dots and offers to let you try it on. 

Post # 4
Member
345 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

If you are close like you say you are, just ask. Next time you have having a conversation about the wedding planning, just bring up the dress, and mention that you were hoping to wear something like it, how honored you’d be, et cetera. Your Future Mother-In-Law may say no, but at least you’ve asked.

Post # 5
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Start off by saying you were going through some pictures and came across th Gmoms pic and loved the dress. Then maybe tell her that you would love to find a dress that looks just like that one, but you don’t know if it will be in your budget. Ask her if she can help you go dress hunting for one that wouldn’t be pricey. So A. maybe you will find a dress that looks close and is in your budget or B. she will offer it to you after you fail to find anything similar. Tell her how in love you are with that dress and let her know how important it would be to find a dress that looks just like it.

If she doesn’t offer after all of that, I would say put it out there. Just tell her you don’t want to offend her or be rude first. Then let her know that you would be fine if she rejects the offer. THEN ask her. After you have blabbed about how bad/wierd you feel even asking (cause I am sure you will), ask her as nicely as you can.

you said you were close. BUT things like this would be wierd either way. I bet it looks awesome though. I love lace!

Post # 6
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

if i understand correctly there is no other girl in his family that may want to wear that dress for her wedding. if that is the case, and since you are so close, i would just ask her. 

tell her, that you would understand if she is not comfortable with it and that of course she could say no. let her think about it for a couple of days and go from there. 

good luck!

Post # 7
Member
1690 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I actually think your Future Mother-In-Law would be really happy that you would honour her mother this way……i know i would be.

but first why dont you ask your Fiance if you can look properly at it first, you dont want to ask the FMIl, her say yes, then its not quite as nice as you thought it was….

Post # 8
Member
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think she will likely let you, hearing from the situation, and you should definitely ask, but be careful, even if you love the photos, the dress may not look good on you, so don’t commit yourself to wearing it before even trying it 🙂

Post # 9
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I don’t think you need to be subtle about it at all.  Just tell her that it is exactly what you had in mind and wonder if she would mind if you considered it.  As a PP noted, she may be very happy about it.  If it is not in good condition any more, maybe you could use some of the lace for your veil, as a belt, bouquet wrap, etc.

Post # 10
Member
981 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I second the idea to proceed with caution. There is a good chance that dress has suffered while in storage – yellowing, moths, etc. Ask to see if first before implying you want to to wear it.

Post # 11
Member
1690 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

if it didnt fit, or was not in good condition, yes you could use some of the lace etc, and have a dress made exactly the same, another way of honouring her mum. OK WE know thats not why, its because you love the dress, but your Future Mother-In-Law will think that, and thats a good enough reason for her to say yes……

Post # 14
Member
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Yay! I hope you love it as much on! 🙂

Post # 15
Member
1626 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

That’s awesome! You will have to post pics for us you do know this right 😛

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