(Closed) how to ask for cash only presents…

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1897 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I don’t think that you do!  I think you (and your family) can say exactly what you said here: “Gosh, we’re (they’re) moving soon and I just don’t know how we’ll be able to ship everything”. Pass that around by word of mouth–and people may get the hint.  You could also register for gift cards! 


Post # 4
3871 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Etiquette says it’s rude to ask for cash only gifts.

For me, since my wedding was in another state from where we live, I was really afraid I would have mail back a lot of gift back home.  I thought there was nothing I could do about it. 

Suprisingly, I only had to mail 5 gifts.  Not bad for inviting 130 people.  Most of them gave us a card with money in it.  

What I did (before the wedding) was I included a note in my registry.  That said,  “The bride and groom would really appreciated if you could send large gifts directly to their home in Seattle.  Thank you in advance.”

I think that got people to remember not to bring gifts. Then again, my registry was on my wedding website and I don’t know how many actually went to the website, so therefore, maybe not a lot of people saw my registry.  (Only about 10 people go me stuff from my registry, though)

Maybe it was just luck that 90% of the people got us a card and money.

So yeah, go with the word of mouth.  Tell your mom, wedding party, everyone via word of mouth.  Maybe add a little note in with the invitation asking if they could ship directly to your home address.  That might give the hint to your guests to avoid getting big gifts.


Post # 5
2186 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

i registered at rainfall of envelopes, which has a little statement that says we are saving for a house and since we have limited room in our current apt and been co-habitating and already have the staples, that should they feel complelled to give a gift, please consider the envelopes registry. and word of mouth….:)

Post # 6
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Registring for gift cards and shipping packages is all fine and good if you live in the states.  However, if you live overseas this becomes a real pita.  Half of the gift cards don’t work overseas because they don’t ship there and the ones that do, you spend most of it on shipping.

And shipping an item is always risky because even if you label it as a gift, there’s a big chance you’ll still get wacked a customs fee.  It’s not a whole lot of fun when you receive a gift and have to pay almost the same amount to get it out of customs as it would have costed to just go and buy it.  I had to deal with that awhile ago when my mother heard I was looking at a new iPod…

So yea, tough one.  I’d probably just make sure that word of mouth gets out to people that you’re going overseas and will have limited luggage space (or talk about how small houses are in Europe and how there’s not a lot of room for extra stuff). 

Post # 7
873 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I’m just going to warn you now that you are going to get a whole lot of people responding saying that there’s no way and you are very rude 🙁  I’ve already experienced a backlash on this topic here.  But I fully understand your situation as I am in the same boat, and there’s no way I’m shipping gifts from Canada to Korea. 

Honestly, we directly put ‘The bride and groom will be unable to transport gifts to Seoul’ on the inivte.  I don’t think this is rude at all. It’s the truth, and it’s better that people know that before the wedding.  I don’t think our wording is asking for money – and if people don’t want to get us anything, that’s totally fine.  It just states the reality that living overseas changes the gift giving custom for us.

Post # 8
1045 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2008

Do you have a base currently in the UK where people could send gifts?  (Like a family member’s house?)  If so, you could register your gift list at some local British department stores like John Lewis or Debenhams or perhaps make a wishlist at Amazon.co.uk.  That might satisfy the people who want to give you a “boxed” gift– they can pay with their American credit cards, but ship to the UK address.

Where are you moving to in the UK?  We live in Nottingham, in the East Midlands, and love it.  (But we’re moving to the US soon, as we’re in the end stages of the immigration process– good luck with things on that end!!)

Post # 9
27 posts
  • Wedding: May 2010

Are you going on a honeymoon? They have honeymoon registries that allow guests to give you cash for a small fee. We used travellersjoy.com.

Post # 10
2410 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

jhphi’s idea was what worked really well when my sister got married. Most people actually just ended up giving them money, but having that option really pushed them in that direction without any awkwrdness of telling them specifically to do so.

Post # 12
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I don’t think that you should say anything but we didn’t need a lot of things either.  So we didn’t have any bridal showers and we only registered for a few things.  We told our parents that we would prefer cash so they explained to guests that we had basically everything we needed and since we were moving, we didn’t want a bunch of huge gifts.

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