Post # 1
My daughter’s wedding is July 10th. She and her fiance have been living together for 2 years and have all household items and appliances. They are not registering for gifts since they don’t need anything. they prefer to receive cash gifts to put towards the purchase of a home.
How cheesy is it to request cash gifts on the invitation? How shoud it be worded so it sounds OK.
Any help would be appreciated,
Thanks fellow Bees
Post # 3
I wouldn’t put it on the invites at all. If people ask you what they want, just tell them that they would prefer cash.
Post # 4
I’ve read that its rude to ask for money, but its so hard to say whats “right” and whats “wrong”
No boxed gifts is was way to say money only. (You may get gift cards!)
Post # 5
If I got an invite asking for cash, I would find it rude and tacky no matter how it was worded.
Leave it off the invite and spread that through word of mouth. Be prepared though, some people do not like giving cash and will refuse to do so (and will probably buy them some sort of non-returnable nick-knacks).
Sometimes its good to have at least a small registry at a store where they could use the money they get from returning their wedding gifts.
Post # 6
It’s not exactly cheesy, it’s just kind of rude to tell people what to give you as a gift. She can set up a honeymoon registry at honeyfund.com that will prompt people to give her money.
Post # 7
Don’t put it on the invitations. If they really do not want anything but cash, a sneaky way is to register at a store with a great return policy and just return any gifts you don’t want to keep. (Of course, that runs into the whole problem of people coming over and wanting to see you use the gift, but how often does that actually happen in real life?)
Or depending on the guests and how likely they are to be offended, you could have a family member casually mention it around.
Post # 8
IMO nothing about any type of gift should be on the invitation. The posts above^ had some good ideas.
Post # 9
Honestly, I think that just by not registering, they’ve indicated that boxed gifts are unnecessary. Most people will give cash in absence of a registry. I think it could look presumptuous to put any kind of gift request or preference on the invitation.
Post # 10
Gift suggestions should NEVER EVER be put on the wedding invitations. (Registry, cash, whatever.)
Registry info is spread by word of mouth, website, and shower invitations. Usually, if there is no registry, the implication is that they want cash gifts. (Some people won’t get it.)
Another option is to have them register at a place with a very lenient return policy that will let them return gifts for cash. (I’ve heard Bed, Bath and Beyond is good with returns, but I have no personal experience with it.)
Post # 11
There is absolutely no way to do it. If you google etiquette sites, I’d say you’d find 100% it is in very bad taste to specify no boxed gifts/ cash only (or God forbid “please be generous” as we saw a few days ago on a big thread here on weddingbee)
That said, if I saw a couple wasn’t registered, I’d give cash. So you can hope for the best. But your daughter also has to accept *any* gifts with grace.
I hope this isn’t harsh, but I’d rather you know the etiquette instead of running the risk of seriously offending your friends and family.
Post # 12
Make a “renovating our home” or “make our honeymoon come true” idea as a “registry gift”. There may possibly be a website for something like this. If not, someone should invent it lol.
Post # 13
Please do not put any kind of wording on the invites about wanting cash. It is crash and very rude. Word of mouth and if doing a bridal shower maybe on the invites there about no box gifts.
Post # 14
Friends of ours that got engaged a few months before us put their wedding website url on their STD’s, and then on the website they had a link to their only registry at Target but also said something along the lines of saving for a down payment on their first home. It in no way offended us. But I would never write it on the actual STD or invite itself. Also spreading through word of mouth is (IMO) acceptable.
Post # 15
We are just having a small registry either at Williams Sonoma or Macys of just some of the fancy stuff we would never buy ourselves and praying that people just give us cash. We are not putting anything on the invite about gifts or cash and just hoping our families can clue people in. Something like “well…the kids are registered at Macys but cash or gift cards may be better since they have to fly back home after the wedding”.
That being said, I’ve received three wedding invitations in the mail in the last month or so and all of them had a little registry card in them. I thought it was a little tacky but I didn’t get hysterical over it. Maybe it’s just an Ohio thing…..?
Post # 16
My husband and I were in a similar situation in that we literally just had NO room for anything bigger then cards. We addressed the fact of why we had no registry on our wedding website and let people know that we would love cards or anything that could fit in cards if they chose to give a gift. I didn’t feel comfortable telling people that we’d prefer cash, so I just left it at telling anyone that asked me that we would love to have cards for our wedding album. After all was said and done, we ended up with 2 gifts and the rest were cards, cash or gift cards.
ETA: I had a couple people bug me about a registry and tell me I had to create one for everyone. I felt that doing so would be willfully lying to my guests because I knew that anything I put on a registry would be returned for cash or store credit. I’d hate to find out someone had done something similar to me, so I refused to create a registry on false pretenses.