(Closed) How to ask for donations instead of gifts?

posted 4 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
2534 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I probably wouldn’t donate. I have charities I like to doante to, and I have charities I don’t trust at all. I don’t like it when people suggest new charities to me without really letting me do my own homework. Sorry – personal preference.

If I found out you were going to take my monetary gift (for you – for your new life together) and donate it anyway, I would probably just give you a card and no money.

This is something I personally feel strongly about, whether or not it makes me sound like a scrooge is beside the point.

Expect something similar to this conversation: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/how-to-ask-for-honeymoon-contributions-as-wedding-presents#axzz2lr3MsTGt

Post # 4
11760 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@lizzypoo96:  I think the best way to go about this is to just take whatever cash you receive as gifts and donate it yourself.  Then, in your thank you note you could indicate that you used the money to donate to a charity that is close to your heart.

Post # 5
2609 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@lizzypoo96:  There is no way to ask for a particular gift that is polite and not tacky. 

If any of your guests ask what you might like as a gift, you can respond that you would be thrilled if they made a donation in your name to x or why y organization or the charity of their choice. 

Guests should not be seen as a source of income obe is entitled to direct as they please. 

Post # 6
8469 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@MrsWBS:  +1

Post # 7
1231 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Don’t ask. I have heard the best way to do this, is by word of mouth. Tell whoever you can that you’d like to donate whatever you get to these charities. Word will get around and your guests will hopefully remember your plans.

Post # 8
1852 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@lizzypoo96:  You’re better off accepting cash gifts and donating them yourself. Most people will give you more in terms of the amount than they would give your charity. I did donations for my shower and had some amounts that were les than $20. I’m pretty sure that if they had been giving me a traditional gift they would have spent more than that.

Post # 9
667 posts
Busy bee

@lizzypoo96:  So far I am the odd man out. I’d rather have a choice of where I donate than to be told later, “we gave your gift to xxxx.” What if I have a problem with that charity.  

I don’t have the wording now, but you could say something like you said in your post… We know some of you would like to give gifts but since we are well established we are not in need of much. However if you are inclined to give something, we would be happy if you gave to one of these worthy causes.

Post # 10
11274 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009



There really is no polite way to do this in a direct manner. However, what you CAN do is to include in the narrative of your relationship on your wedding website a casual mention that you and your FI have bonded over many shared interests, including your mutual passion for and support of XYZ charities.

In doing so, you would be asking for nothing from your guests, but you would be providing clues about the types of things that are important and meaningful to you and your FI for anyone who wishes to find them. 🙂

Post # 12
605 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Do you have a wedding website?  You can put your Target registry and a link to the orgs on there.


Post # 14
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Instead of favors, you could put a card at each table with a mention of a charity you’ve donated to in place of favors. That might help tie it in to th your wedding website.

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