Post # 1
Fiance and I are having our engagement party later this year and are really excited. We aren’t really fussed about receiving money/gifts however many family members and close friends are asking us what we would like. We both still live at home and don’t plan to buy a home together for another 2 years (once we are married) so we don’t have any home items whatsoever. Both my mum and his mum have been buying bits and pieces like sheets, matress protectors, kitchen containers, salad servers… just knick knacky things. What I would like to know is if there is a polite way to ask for a gift instead of money? My Future Mother-In-Law suggested a registry to slip in with the invitation so guests will buy something that we actually will like/need. However I am worried about putting the registry in EVERYONE’S invite incase they were not planning to get us anything (which we aren’t worried about of course) or had something else already planned.
What do you think I should do about this? My Maid/Matron of Honor brough up an interesting point the other day, she said that a guest can buy you a gift costing $15, but the same guest would never give you a card with only $15 in it. So she was pretty much saying that if FI and I have a cash preference, we will end up with more. I know this sounds horrible and selfish but it made me laugh. It is the thought that counts afterall 🙂
Post # 3
I think you put together a registry with lots of items on it and let the word get around. Im not a big fan when people put registry info in a wedding invite but i think shower invite is okay as someone else is sending that instead of the couple. Even if you get money couldnt you just go and buy the items yourself ? Or even put the money towards some bigger ticketed items?
Post # 4
Since this is an engagement party, registry information should not be on the invitation – the only pre-wedding party where this is appropriate is the shower, since the entire reason for the party is to ‘shower’ the couple with gifts.
Not as many people bring gifts to the e-party, but go ahead and register anyway. If people ask about gifts, you or your parents can give registry info then.
Post # 5
If you prefer physical gifts, then just create a larger registry and put the registry information on your wedding website or spread via word of mouth. Don’t put anything about gifts or registries in the wedding invite (it’s considered gift grabby). However, you can put registry information in a shower invite because the whole point of a shower is to “shower” the bride and groom with gifts.
If all else fails, you get lots of cash gifts and get to go on a shopping spree!
Post # 6
Thanks for the info 🙂 So it would be bad manners to put another slip of paper in the envelope with registry info on it?
I already feel bad enough throwing the engagement party and receiveing money as a gift.. let alone actual gifts. Is this feeling normal lol :S
Post # 7
Yes, unless you’re having a party where gift giving is traditionally. Gifts are not expected for engagement parties. I never give them.
Post # 8
We actually got some registry gifts for our e-party without distributing the info. We also got some really surprising and wonderful gifts – my aunt gave us a beverage dispenser that I love, and never would have thought of getting for myself – I’ve already used it twice for parties! And we got cake servers, which we didn’t think of registering for.
We also got a lot of wine, which was awesome. And about half the guests didn’t give anything, which was great too – we were surprised to get gifts at all.
Post # 9
Do you have a wedding website? You can always put that info on the invite and people can go there. We did this with our actual wedding invites, as it had hotel information, directions and other tid-bits for all our out of state guests (my entire family).
Post # 10
For an engagement party, I would let the info be passed by word of mouth. I think a mention of a registry with the invite would mqke people who weren’t planning to buy a gift feel awkward. Our eparty is in 2 weeks & several people have asked the hostess about the registry. People who want to know will figure it out 🙂 Btw, I’m confused why you prefer gifts to cash? I don’t have a preference either way, I can use the cash to buy the things off my registry if i need them.