(Closed) How to ask for Non Traditional Wedding Gifts

posted 10 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

Honestly? you should not be "asking" your guests for a gift OR for a donation in your name, as guests are not required to give a gift and asking- whether for a good cause such as a charity or not- is still asking. 

However I dont see anything wrong w suggesting to those who ask to divert the gift elsewhere (similar to suggesting cash for a down payment, etc). Your best bet is to give your list of charities to your "contact" person (whoever the majority of guests would contact if they care to know where you’re registered, usually your parents) Make sure they understand your wishes and then wait & see what happens.  You can contact the charities ahead of time & tell them to let you know if/when someone donates, if they are larger they may contact you anyway. If they’re smaller it might be a hassle for them but they’ll appreciate the extra cash.

Thinking about our own guests: they’d ask my mom what we want/ where we are registered. She’d say, "They actually would prefer a donation in their name to Z Charity, and here is their contact info." the guest would say, "No really. what do they want?"  and end up giving cash or buying something random. They’d rather give something tangible to celebrate the couple & donate to their own personal charities.

Also, you can always donate any gifts/cash you receive (after you write a thank you card 😉 to the charity of your choice. 

Post # 5
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I suggest screening charities that make a statement about you and your fiance or family members.  There are websites you can go look into and pick out so that your guests you can just choose their desired charity from your list.  I think its a great idea to say something along the line of "in lieu of gifts, please support the great cause by x, y, or z."  It might be a great idea to give some background information for each charity and why you selected them.  Some charities i know you can elect to donate online.


https://donate.americanheart.org/ecommerce/aha/aha_index.jsp’ defer=’defer

This is dear to my heart: http://www.stjude.org/stjude/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=f2bfab46cb118010VgnVCM1000000e2015acRCRD’ defer=’defer

If you rather get something more local to your community, look them up online or give them a call.  I went to a wedding once where the charity picked provided the appropriate wordings (i forgot which ones), but I was in tears and completely emptied my wallets for (concerns children i’m certain).  Its a great thing you and your fiance are doing and I really applaud you both!  Thank you for thinking of others.  (we’re contributing money to my mom’s charity in honor of our guests instead).

Post # 6
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

We are doing something similar– not having a registry, but asking guests to be creative in their gift giving. We did choose 6 charities that are near & dear to our heart if guests are stumped as to how to give. Here’s how we worded it on our website:

"We’ve decided not to have a formal gift registry, as we intentionally seek to live simply in sharing our lives in Christ with each other, and with our world.  Instead, we ask our guests to be creative with their gift ideas.  The following lists a few non-profit organizations the we are passionate in supporting.  One possible creative way to show your love for us could be to spend your time to learn about and to contribute to these organizations in place of giving us a physical gift."

Post # 8
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

my finacee and i registered for http://www.justgive.org You can pick which charities you like and your guests can give to those charities that you signed up for. Just give doesn’t take any of the profits so it’s perfect!

Post # 9
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

I think your lines sound good, I know it is hard to ask for gifts, but you should also not get crap when you want donations to charity so I agree that your wording sounds nice.  In our wedding tradition peoplewrite "no Boxed Gifts" and that means give money, and I like your thoughtful lines a lot more.

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