(Closed) How to ask guests for cash wedding gift?

posted 4 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 2
Member
619 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

There’s no way to politely ask for cash.  If you don’t register for physical gifts, most people will get the hint and write a check.

Post # 3
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Please don’t…seriously, just skip a registry, people will get the hint.

we had a smaller registry, and received probably 60% of the things from there at our shower. Out of 110 guests, we only got 2 “actual” gifts instead of cash or checks. 

Post # 4
Member
484 posts
Helper bee

I just said on the extra information that accompanied my invitation  “If you would like to give a gift, cash would be most appreciated.” I dont care if people here think Im rude. I really dont care whether my guests give me anything or not. If it was about getting money, I’d rather just skip the whole thing and save the ridiculous amount its all costing me. But people do give wedding gifts, and when I am wedding guest, I appreciate an indication of what a couple would find most useful.

Post # 5
Member
920 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
revpaul :  if I go to a non-registery wedding I’ll get you a  personalized gift for both bride and groom. No cash.

P.s I wouldn’t be asking this question on the bee. Many of us are highly opinionated about dictating how someone spends their money as a wedding gift. To avoid seeming greedy for cash make a small registry.

Post # 6
Member
920 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
altaira :  Yes I’m sure everyone would love cash, but it doesn’t make it less rude to tell others you don’t want their junk, but instead prefer cash.

Post # 7
Member
484 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
greeneyedamber :  I didnt tell them I didnt want their junk. I didnt tell them to do anything. I mentioned what would be most useful. They can, and will, do what they like, whether that be give me cash, regift something they’ve wanted to get rid of, give me nothing at all.. it really doesnt matter to me. My fiance and I, and the vast majority of the people we’ve invited like to be a bit more straight forward with things, and are not the type to take offence. 

Post # 8
Member
3029 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

You don’t.

Post # 9
Member
1894 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

If you don’t register most people will give you cash, but it’s never polite to ask for cash

Post # 10
Member
23 posts
Newbee

Oh gawd, I can almost smell the backlash to this question. My honest opinion is that you don’t. Instead of stating a preference for cash, I really think the best way forward is to let guests decide for themselves what they want to gift.

I once attended an Indian couple’s wedding in Hong Kong and they asked for cash in their e-invite, a lot of guests later told common friends that they must be broke and can’t actually afford the wedding, which was in a warehouse and the e-invite were stick people they drew themselves. One is a pilot and the other worked in JPMorgan so people starting saying they’re not broke, just cheap. Just awful.

I am Asian Singaporean marrying a British (in a few weeks) and we both live in Hong Kong and are very much a part of the expat community, so really the people in our lives are from all walks of life. While folks from Singapore and HK will likely give a cash gift as it’s the culture, most who attend our wedding will be used to a gift registry and have asked us about it. We opted to not have registry and have told people that it’s their company that counts, especially since a lot of them will be travelling in to Singapore to give us our blessings and celebrate with us. We appreciate that more than anything. We always knew the wedding would cost us an arm/leg but would not have gone ahead with one if we hoping there may be cash inflow to plug the gap. 

Post # 11
Member
1512 posts
Bumble bee

Just don’t register and if anyone asks, say you don’t need anything or don’t want any gifts. They will most likely just give a card and cash.

Post # 12
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

I know it goes against everything I’ve read on here, but every wedding I’ve been to the couple have added a cutesy poem asking for cash. I don’t mind as long as I know what it’s going towards…

We added a ‘travel advice’ card with lots of pics from our previous travels, asking guests advice on where we should go on our honeymoon (we always knew it would be after the wedding), and stating that a gift is not expected, but if they insist that a contribution to our honeymoon fund would be amazing (it was better worded and emphasised the advice more so than the money- it was also a great conversation started amongst the guests!). Everyone except one couple gave money, and they chose to give a gift. I hate the poems asking for cash, but a little note asking for money and explaining why is the norm where we are.

Post # 13
Member
1271 posts
Bumble bee

Don’t ask. People know cash is preferred.

Post # 14
Member
13889 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Agreed with PPs – don’t have a registry and people will get the hint.

Post # 15
Member
250 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I personally wouldn’t be offended by this at all. I’ve been living on my own with and without my fiance for about five years so we’ve collected a lot of things that would usually go on a registry so I get it. BUT as you can see, a lot of people may be offended, so you’re probably better off making a small registry. You can usually add that gift cards for the stores you’re registered at are welcome on your registry, so that’s an option. If you’re wanting the money to go toward something bigger like a honeymoon, down payment on a house, etc. I would just go with making the registry small so people get the idea you don’t need much and would rather cash.

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