(Closed) How to ask guests not to obivously grope each other (sensitive issue)

posted 6 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

How close are you with your cousin? 

How sure are you that the stories about them being all over each other are accurate?

Post # 4
Member
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I would think that they would conduct themselves very differently at a wedding reception than on a vacation. I wouldn’t worry about it unless they start getting close to crossing the line at the reception. Then you can make a friendly casual joke about aiming for a PG rating and hopefully they will get it. 

Post # 6
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I believe they will be better behaved at a wedding, but the love in the air might be contagious.

Personally, I’d not interfere.  Let them be as affectionate as they want to be.  It’s none of anyone’s business.

Post # 7
Member
5001 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I would have someone else say something (her mother??) or I would play dumb and pretend you have this friend who likes to hook up and say something about how you hope she doesn’t make out with so-and-so on the dance floor! I mean how tacky would that be? Right

Post # 9
Member
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

If the aunt that witnessed the behavior on vacation is close to her maybe she could say something?

Post # 10
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think you say nothing until the off chance it happens at the wedding.

Post # 11
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee

@MrsTimmy:  As someone who used to date women, has a gay brother, and who has somewhat conservative parents, I know from experience that certain older people who are unfamiliar/uncomfortable with gay couples tend to exaggerate in their minds what physical stuff actually occured.It’s kind of amazing, actually.

When my brother and his boyfriend met my parents and me for the first time, they were super nervous and held hands *once* for about 20 seconds. Of course, later on, my mother chose to mention that he and his boyfriend should mind how they interact in public, and that he doesn’t need to ‘rub it in her face’ because she’s, you know, totally cool with it. I found this puzzling and she follwed up what she said by remarking that they had been “all over each other.” 

Anyway, I don’t know who told you these things, and maybe they were completelyt truthful. But it’s something to take with at least a grain of salt.

I would not mention anything ahead of time to the couple. Plan to gently pull your cousin aside if you think it’s too much. Or have one of your bridemaids — preferably someone who knows them and who is generally friendly and easy-going — be on patrol for attendees’ PDA (not them in particular).

Post # 12
Member
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

You let the chips fall where they may, since you can’t stage-manage the behavior of your guests. Seriously — your family will have to work their issues out without the intervention of the bride. Relax, enjoy your day, and if something happens between your cousin and whoever else, then it’s between them. Hopefully everyone will be circumspect and comport themselves as one should for a formal event.

Post # 13
Member
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@azure:  This, exactly. I used to have a gay coworker and someone said they saw him watching gay porn at work. Turns out he it was just a pic of some gay celebrity kissing a guy on the cheek (perez hilton’s site)  le sigh.

Post # 15
Member
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

if you’re speaking to her before the wedding and there’s an opening, i think it’s fine to say something like, ‘the wedding details are all finalized, but i’m a bit concerned about a couple i’ve invited; they were really innapropriate at the party/event etc last weekend. i hope they don’t do that at my wedding! how embarrassing!’ then laugh a bit, and hope she got the message.

otherwise, i would designate someone you trust to step in if it really gets out of hand. i have a friend that i could see this being a problem with, and i would ask another one of our close friends to keep an eye on the situation and say, ‘seriously? tone it down’ if the need occurs.

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