Post # 1
I don’t know about you guys, but I constantly see pictures from weddings my friends attend where I do not know the bride or groom. People give play by play updates, even videos, and post them on their facebooks during the actual wedding.
It got me thinking that I really am not to fond of the idea of people posting pictures of my ceremony, venue, pictures of me for all of their friends to see. I want my private event to be private, and when I post pictures, it will be a select few pictures intended for my close friends and family to see.
Is there any polite way of asking for guests not to do such a thing at my wedding? Would a small sign on the place card table be ok?
Post # 3
Sorry, I’m in the camp that there’s not a polite way to do this.
ETA: I do agree with the others that you can have your officiant make an announcement or write in the programs that you’d prefer cell phones/cameras off during the ceremony, but the rest just seems overly controlling.
Post # 4
you could print up a sign kindly asking for cell phones to be shut off during the ceremony. There was a better post on an actual wedding blog, but I can’t remember which one.
Hope this helps.
Post # 5
You can make it clear you don’t want pictures taken during the ceremony – but the reception, no, I mean – you COULD – but people will find it very eye-rolly. If they take pictures, those pictures belong to them, and they can do whatever they please with them.
Post # 6
Sorry I just think more the merrier, whats the point of dressing up like a prat in a big white dress, and gurning all day, if people don’t get a kick out of it?
Post # 7
I wouldn’t officially ask. Maybe this is something your friends and family could spread the word on, but there is no way to ensure your photos don’t end up on facebook and the like. People will do what they want to do.
Post # 8
@Snoopadoop: bahahahaha. Well said!
Post # 9
Since social media is a relatively new thing, there’s not official etiquette yet, so no real clear rules on what you can and can’t ask. Personally I don’t think it’s wrong to ask people not to plaster your wedding all over Facebook but you have to be very gentle in how you go about it.
I think you would need to make an announcement before the ceremony begins, while you have everyone’s attention; there is no guarantee that people will read a sign even if you tie it to their faces, plus it is VERY hard to write a sign that can’t be mis-interpreted as having a stronger/more authoritarian tone than it’s meant to. You need the tone of voice to keep your request from coming off as controlling. You also need to give guests a good reason to support your request. Half of your guests will be facebook addicts and you have to tell them why you’re asking them to hold off on posting.
Perhaps an announcement like “The Bride and Groom would like to be the first to share their photos with loved ones who are absent today, and are asking guests to kindly refrain from postng photos of the wedding party until the professional photos have been shared.” This gives a clear reason which most folks won’t find overbearing— no one likes to spoil someone else’s surprise or excitement— and lets the guests know their boundaries without sounding impersonal or mean. By the time your pro pics get back, people will have other events on their minds and will likely not take the time to go back and post your wedding pics to facebook.
Post # 10
@fishbone: That’s perfect!!! I couldn’t have worded that better!!
Post # 11
We did this for our wedding. We had a destination wedding and then were having a reception back home afterwards. We really wanted to be the first ones to share our photos at the reception with all of our guests who were not able to attend. Instead of having a bunch of random bad photos on social networking.
So we both placed it in our welcome books and asked our MC’s to announce it at our reception. We stated just as pp suggested, that we would like to be the first ones to share our photos with our guests and kindly ask that everyone refrain from posting photos on social networking sites until after the reception. Not a single person posted a wedding photo which was great.
However, from your post, it seems you don’t want any photos added to Facebook ever. You can certainly ask this, but people like to add photos of places they’ve been, so everyone may not comply.
Post # 12
I had it in our Program and had the mc Mention it. A couple people still posted… Downside was that I never got to see a lot of guest pictures.
Post # 13
I agree with most of the PPs that say there isn’t any polite way you can request photos not be posted. Once people take the pictures, the photo is their property and they can do what they want with it. You can try to make an announcement about it, but I do think not everyone will comply…
Post # 14
Sorry, I think you need to just get over this or NOT be a member of a social networking site – which still won’t prevent your photos from being seen.
People are there to celebrate you, and part of the way they do that nowadays is to broadcast it on Facebook, etc. It’s something you just need to suck up…and honestly, it’s such small issue…don’t waste your time worrying about it.
And, if I were at a wedding where this was mentioned, I’d feel as if the bride and groom need to get over themselves.
Post # 15
I agree with a few of the PPs. Maybe have a classy sign at the entrance of the ceremony site saying something like, “The bride and groom respectfully ask you to refrain from posting pictures on Facebook”. I didn’t put a lot of thought into my example sentence. It’s very poorly worded, but with some work, you can make it sound so so much better lol.
Also, it is a little weird to ask them not to post pictures of the reception online because its a basically a party.
Post # 16
Wow – I’d never even thought of this! Now that you’ve brought it up, I think you do have a good point. Yes, the picture is their property (technically). But the pictures are of YOUR wedding and guests should respect your wishes. I say make a decision and stick with it. Have your family and bridal party help enforce.