(Closed) How to ask him to trim down his guest list.

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think you should try to play fair… If you get to invite 70 people, he should get to invite 70 people too.  If you don’t have room for 140 people, could you both trim your lists a bit?  Just my opinion. 

Post # 4
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I think you should invite them.  Your hubby put them on the list because he wants them there.  The logistics of if you’ve met them or not are irrelevant – but I TOTALLY understand why you think they shouldn’t be on the list!

Does your hubby know you are concerned about space issues and that only the significant people in your life should be there?

If so, then let him invite who he wishes and enjoy meeting the new people and reconnecting with those you don’t see often.

Just a side note – Fiance and I will be together for almost 5 years and other than his work friend invites – most of his guest list are either people I’ve never met – or people we don’t see much at all anymore.  He’s really embraced my circle of friends – yet these other people were super significant to him at one season or another – so it didn’t even dawn on me to tell him not to invite them (solely based on the relationship they had with us or me).


Post # 5
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I agree with Eva and Oracle – while space issues are legit and should be addressed, you can’t tell him not to invite people just because you’ve never met them.  There will be TONS of people at my wedding that I’ve never met on his side and vice versa – that’s part of the fun (bringing your people together)!!

Post # 6
2681 posts
Sugar bee

I think you should invite them as well, especially his sisters family if he still considers them family.  They must be important to him if he added them to his list.  There were plenty of people I never met that were on my DH’s side of the invite list but I couldnt tell him not to invite them because I didnt know them.  If its a space issue, both of you may need to cut your lists.

Post # 7
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I agree with the others. Because 75 percent of our guests are from out of town, most of them are going to be unknown to one of us. Like ladyox said, it’s part of the fun!

Post # 9
126 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I know that you’ve already made your decision, but Fiance and I had a similar problem.

My family is HUGE and very close, while FI’s family is not so huge and not as close as mine. My side of the guest list added up very quickly, whereas Fiance was searching for people to make his list “even” with mine, adding randoms to the list.

I didn’t have any friends on the list, because my family is so large, yet he wanted to invite friends that he rarely sees/hardly knows? That didn’t seem fair to me.

Eventually, we had a discussion and decided that we wanted people there who truly mattered to us. He completely understood my point of view and ended up cutting some people off of his list, while I added some on mine. Every person that is coming knows (and is close to) both of us.




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