(Closed) How to ask people not to get in photographs?

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
3671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Would you be able to talk to your photographer about it and have her dictate who is to be in the photos then maybe bring them in at the end?  I know at FBIL’s wedding their photographer did that for different shots (FBIL actually called me over to get in the picture when she didn’t ask me to but we were engaged at the time and had been together three and a half years so it was a little different) and it worked well.  

Post # 4
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Just make a sort of lighthearted “Okay, photo with my parents and sisters!” sort of announcement, or better yet, give your photographer the heads up and let them direct people 🙂  Maybe offer for your sisters and their respective BFs to take a photo together separately to keep the waters calm too.

Post # 6
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@blondeeebuckeye: I would definitely talk to your dad about it then and tell him exactly what you just said about your ex in your brother’s photos. I’m sure he’ll understand, he likely hasn’t thought about that.

Post # 7
Member
572 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I would start off small and then slowly add people so that you get some with them and some without.  Our family photo on DH’s side has BIL’s ex in there but I don’t mind.

B&G, parents

B&G, siblings

B&G, siblings and parents

B&G, sibling, parents and spouses

etc.

 

Post # 8
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

just take 2 or 3 pictures with them and then be like okay now one with just sisters and parents so nobody gets insulted

Post # 9
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i would talk to your dad and sisters before the wedding day and explain that you would like some family pics without their boyfriends. cite your brother’s wedding as a reason why.

Post # 10
Member
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I’ve been in that boat as the person who wasn’t officially family.  The photographers made light of it…..

Say your dad asks your sister’s BFs to get in the picture ask the photographers to make a joke of it and say, “now unofficial family members- get out”

If they have the tone and demeanor it’s actually more funny and a joke than it is rude.

Post # 11
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I would first tell your dad and your photographer that family is your main priority for group shots. Request that the first group photos taken are family-only, and then add in the significant others once enough shots of the family are taken. That way you’ll have all your bases covered.

The best way I’ve seen it handled was at my cousin’s wedding. They basically had a roll call for each group photo. The Maid/Matron of Honor had a list of people for each set of “must have” shots and she called up and dismissed people accordingly in a similar order to nyebride’s list. It was very businesslike and organized, and because of that nobody took it personally when they weren’t included in certain shots.

Post # 12
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I agree, talk to your dad and your sisters.  I would definitely mention your brother’s wedding photos as an explanation to your dad and maybe to your sisters.  (Although are they “sure” they’re going to marry these BFs?  Because if so, they might be offended by your example.)  But I think the BFs might be surprisingly understanding about it–I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man in my FSIL’s wedding and apparently my Future Mother-In-Law was stressed out about this issue of including me in all family shots until I told her that I didn’t expect to be in all the family shots.  So it might not even be an issue for them, as long as you communicate what pictures you do and don’t expect them to be in.

Post # 13
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I agree with you. Definitely do one of each.

And for whatever reason, I think its nice to do the “family only” picture then do the “everyone” picture. Cause then you don’t have to ask people to get out, you just ask people to get in!

I think getting pictures of them with their SO is a nice idea.

ETA: Oh, and if your dad does say, “wait! boyfriends get in!” Just say “oh its okay Dad, we’ll do that picture next.”

And maybe also do one picture with one boyfriend, one with the other, and one with both. That way if one pair breaks up, you’ll have an alternative photo to display. JUST KIDDING!

Post # 14
Member
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

talk to your father and the photographer before the day and explain your situation.  Get the photographer to take some photos with them in and without them in it.

Post # 15
Member
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

This always is funny to me, because I’ve always stepped out of other people’s family pictures and never will step in unless asked–and even then, it is certainly after some “Are you sure?” ‘s haha.

But-I think the suggestions mentioned above are great. Give your family a heads up–no INVITING non-married significant others into pictures, and to let the photographer handle telling whoever to get in the picture(s).

Also, I think adding into your list of pictures to get “sister(s) and boyfriend(s)” like you said would be a nice gesture, and smooth anything over. 

Luckily it’s BOYfriends, and they probably could care less! haha!

Post # 16
Member
2829 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I am probably repeating someone, but I would just let my photog handle it –obviously clarify the issue before hand and let them know what shots withwhom, and roll from there.

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