(Closed) How to ask the "gay friendly" question nicely?

posted 5 years ago in LGBTQ
Post # 3
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Well, I would say f-all and not be subtle about it at all! If they are offended, they aren’t who you want to work with, and if they are supportive, they won’t mind one bit!

That said, since you do want to be more subtle, do you and your fiancee both have obviously feminine names? Could you say “Hi Venue, My name is Nicole Watson. My fiancee, Sarah, and I are looking for a hall to hold our wedding in.”

That is very subtle. More subtle than I’d be comfortable with. I’d probably go on to say, “First, of course, we just want to confirm that you would welcome a wedding between two women. With that out of the way, here are a few other questions I have…”

Post # 4
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@anahappilyeverafter:  I would be as straightforward as possible, and make sure to do it in writing (and make sure to keep their response – especially if they agree to it) just in case you run into problems later, so they can’t go back on their word. I guess I am not up on the difference between civil partnerships and weddings in the UK, but if it is a civil partnership I would call it that so you’re speaking correctly in the legal sense since contracts will be involved.

Post # 7
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I don’t have advice, just wanted to say that venue is adorable, and I hope it works out! I wish local halls in the US had that much charm!

Post # 8
Member
1622 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would say something like “My fiance and I are interested in booking your venue for our wedding reception in [insert date here].  As this will be wedding between two women, may I ask what is your policy regarding lesbian wedding receptions being held in your space?”

No point in being subtle about it.  There’s certainly nothing to be ashamed of so no need to be subtle, in my opinion.

Post # 9
Member
9074 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Definitely be very straightforward. Put everything on the table immediately, that way you don’t allow the venue to have any wiggle room. If you beat around the bush, it leaves doors wide open for misconceptions. My husband’s best friend (and best man) is named Lindsey. Lindsey is also a women’s name, so if you were to say, “We’re Sarah & Lindsey…” it can mean two entirely different things. You don’t want them to get any misconceptions or misunderstandings.

I’d say something like (when inquiring for information), “What is your policy on <same sex/gay/homosexual/however you’d like to word it> ceremonies?” or, flat up, “I’m looking for a venue that will allow me to have a <enter however you would word it here> ceremony.”

You want to respect their policies, and you want them to respect your wants and needs. Simple! Worst they can say is no, right?

Best wishes to you & yours and I hope you find a place that is right for you.

Post # 10
Member
2287 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: Central Park

I wouldn’t even tell them. It is none of their business. Can they break a contract once it’s signed?

Post # 12
Member
4960 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

๐Ÿ™ not helpful, but it makes me sad that in this day and age any venue would turn you away because you’re gay. Or that you have to be delicate when bringing it up. I just want to say that my fiance and I are lightly religious. We believe in loving and accepting everyone and I hope there will come a day when that type of ugly exclusion is no longer a thing. I hope you find a perfect venue and have a perfect wedding. 

Post # 15
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would be very straight forward about asking. If they don’t have a problem with it, you’ll find out right away. It would be horrible if they “changed their minds” because they didn’t realize what the event really was and you’d have to start your planning over. I would ask directly, save all e-mail communications where they state their policy, and hopefully get a signed contract binding them to having your event on the day planned. I wish you the best of luck! That picture is so cute ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 16
Member
4960 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@anahappilyeverafter: Yes. Some people make religion and ugly thing ๐Ÿ™ when it could be a way to care for each other more. It just makes me sad. Personally, my 2 besties are 2 married women. They’ve been married for 6 years. It’s a beautiful thing to see two people who love and care for each other so, so much. I don’t understand how anyone could feel good standing in the way of it. 

^-^ I really hope you find some place special and lovely.

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