Post # 1
Hey bees! I am not actually a “waiting bee” yet as my SO and I are not ready to get engaged at the moment but I am hoping that we will be in that place within the next few months. I have read a lot of the waiting posts, and wanted to see if anyone has any advice about how to avoid the anxiety and stress that comes with being a waiting bee.
For example: Does talking about timelines make it more or less stressful? Would you be (have been) less anxious if everything was just a complete surprise? Do you think there would be less stress if you didn’t bring up the future, getting engaged/married, spending your lives together as much?
Any insight would be helpful!
Post # 3
It’s helpful just to keep an open line of communication with him. I got more frustrated before I actually talked to him about it. But be careful–once you talk to him about it a little bit, you will want to ask more and more questions, and I know for me I still want it to be a surprise. Knowing a vague timeline has helped, but honestly I feel like it has been so darn long that the only thing that will help now is the actual engagement! I will say that after we have talks about it I feel better for some time (sometimes a few weeks, sometimes only a few days). If you start feeling really crummy/anxious, make sure you talk to him about it so it doesn’t just blow up in his face one day (that’s what has happened to us, lol!). As they always say, just try to enjoy this part of the relationship and have fun–easier said than done, though!! 🙂
Post # 4
@yellowlinedpage : Thanks for the advice! I’m like you and I want to be surprised. It’s really important for it to be a surprise for me, but I’m really good at figuring things out so I don’t want to know too much as far as a timeline goes. I don’t want to be involved in picking out my ring and he doesn’t need to ask my dad (I’ve never been a fan of that and my parents have mentioned that they don’t expect it, that we can make our own decisions about who we marry or something like that! lol) so no matter what, I won’t be very involved in it.
Post # 5
I second a lot of what @yellowlinedpage said. I think it also depends on your personality. For me I can’t keep quiet and it’s actually worse for me if I try to bottle up how I feel. But also I’ve gone a little too far with my questioning and basically know so much about the when/what ring details. So if you want it to be a surprise don’t ask too many questions or snoop too much!
As everyone always says I think it helps to keep busy. The more activities and other things you do to keep occupied, the less time you’ll have to worry about the proposal. I think for me, sometimes looking up wedding details and even discussing wedding details with my SO helps. Sometimes it just makes me more anxious, but usually it makes me feel like I have control over the situation. My boyfriend and I have mutually made the decision to get married, but now I’m just waiting on his proposal. By looking up details and getting ideas I have an outlet for my already wedding-filled mind.
That’s just my 2 cents and what has somewhat worked for me.