(Closed) How to avoid day-after brunch drama?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 16
Member
3451 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I understand the point of day-after brunches and don’t necessarily regret having one, but the longer I could’ve stayed in bed that morning, the better. One of the best moves I made, was changing the venue at the last minute and just inviting everyone down to eat in the hotel restaurant, swooping through for 30 minutes and picking up the tab (we seriously decided this 5 minutes before the reception was over).  Sorry for the tangent, my point, OP, is that day-after brunches are meant to be (1) hosted by someone other than the new couple, (2) simply not necessary if it isn’t a Destination Wedding (3) something where you pop in, give some hugs, and pop back out. 

 

Post # 17
Member
12327 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I will add that if the two mothers agreed on the two brunch  plan it would be one thing.  But if your mother planned this brunch, had invited your in laws and out of town guests on both sides, and it was known that you would be attending, then what Future Mother-In-Law is doing would be considered pretty rude in my circles. 

Post # 18
Member
7199 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

nawella:  Your mom thinks it super rude for MOG to “squish another event” into your wedding weekend… so she did the same thing? I don’t understand. In any case, I agree with PPs who said don’t go to either because it’s your honeymoon. If I were choosing, I’d probably go to the retirement party since that’s a real reason to have a party. I totally understand having it then because everyone is in town. I do not understand having a “revenge bruch” with just the bride’s family and wouldn’t attend that. 

Post # 22
Member
517 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

nawella:  I am glad you are not! And if they get pouty well they can just suck it up, you will never make everyone happy especially when it comes to a wedding. Believe me, both my mom and Mother-In-Law had tons of expectations and heard no lots of times and we had lots of guilt trips. But that is their problem!

Post # 23
Member
12327 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Neither of the set of parents are acting too graciously, so I guess it’s a draw.  IMO your mother should be hosting for all the out of towners or none. Ditto your Mother-In-Law if she knew you were still around and with all your guests still in town. 

If Mother-In-Law wanted to hold a brunch the next day it should be as a thank you to guests who have come in for your wedding, and as a send off to you.   It would have been one thing to honor Father-In-Law in the course of the brunch , but not to make it the main event.    Personally, I’d invite all the people who should be there or none of them. 

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