Post # 1
I was thinking that it might be nice to create a list of tips to help us be conscientiousness and considerate brides. I know that when we get caught up in wedding planning it is easy to forget that some actions which seem insignificant to you do may greatly affect people around you. The last things any of us wants is to be known as a bridezilla when we are not actually trying to be difficult.
One thing that comes to mind is allowing your bridesmaids to have a say in their dress to ensure they will feel beautiful and comfortable on the big day.
What are your thoughts?
Post # 3
@Miss_Itzy: Being considerate and aware of Bridesmaid or Best Man (and other members of your wedding day)’s financial situation. Just because you love a 300 dollar Bridesmaid or Best Man dress and all but one Bridesmaid or Best Man can afford it does not mean you can just assume it’ll be ok with that one BM!
Post # 4
I would say don’t talk about your wedding 24/7 with everyone. As excited as we are, not everyone is nearly as interested, lol.
Post # 5
@leeshabee: I find this hard. As a DIY bride I find myself wanting to share all of my projects with my Maid/Matron of Honor (not necessarily to get help, but more to get input), so there is typically something every week. I think I need to stop and just do it in the background because I can tell she is sick of talking about it!
Post # 6
@Miss_Itzy: I am right there with you! I am so excited and I love bouncing ideas off of my friends. I try to lay off of them – but I can tell there are 1-2 that are more interested than others, and they tend to ask on their own… so now I badger them LOL.
Post # 7
Don’t treat your bridal party like servants. They are people with their own lives – which don’t revolve around your wedding.
Post # 8
@leeshabee: agreed! ESPECIALLY if one of your BMs is also a bride, the two of you shouldn’t gush weddings in front of everybody else (guilty…) especially when everybody else is probably “waiting”
I would say try to plan the rehearsal late on Friday, and be nice if your wedding party cant all make it. They probably have jobs or other obligations, they can’t just take off tons of time for someone elses’ wedding!
And try to make your guests comfortable. If they will be outside in the heat, provide fans and water. If they have to wait a long time for pictures, give them some cheese and crackers at least. And give them food that they will like: have a healthy option like a salad, and a more flavorful option.
Post # 9
Feed your bridal party on the day-of! You may feel too anxious to eat anything, but nobody else will be. If you’re meeting up with everybody in the morning, provide lunch in the afternoon; it is not okay to expect them to subsist on a granola bar or something until dinner at the reception.
Post # 10
Being a conscientious bride starts with being a conscientious person, and not using the wedding as an excuse for improper or rude behavior. I’m tired of people saying “Its my day, so i can do what I want” or people telling posters it is THEIR day. As soon as you include others in your wedding (i.e. invite any guests at all) it ceases being all about you.
Post # 11
@sailor: Oh my, this is so true. I was a bridesmaid once and we were not fed until the reception! They wouldn’t even stop for food! It was pretty awful.
Post # 12
@Miss_Itzy: Great thread!
I’d say an important starting point for being a conscientious bride is to stay focused on the marriage more so than the wedding, and to form the habit of talking about our wedding, our big day, etc., rather than “my.” It’s a day for celebrating with family and friends and starting your new family with the person you love most in the world, first and foremost.
It’s also good, I think, to reevaluate the idea that “this is the best/most important/biggest/most perfect day of my (our) life (lives)”. If that were true, it would mean that your marriage is going to peak on Day One and be downhill from then on. That’s not what I’m aiming for! It helps to look at it as more of a beginning than a culmination.
Just my two cents. I know that’s a little different from the original point of the thread, but I hope it ties in: a lot of etiquette decisions, etc., flow from your basic approach to the wedding. If it’s about “me” vs. “us” vs. “all of us” (vs. “our parents” vs. “the in-laws’ preferences,” etc. …) that shapes how you do things.
Post # 13
Strrike the phrase ” It’s MY day!” from your vocabulary.