Post # 1
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
My DH is going through a really rough time at work. I’m trying my best to be a good support for him. Sometimes I find it tough not to “play devil’s advocate” to his points. I know this is not helpful for him so I’ve been asking myself “if I was in his shoes what would I want to hear?”. This has been helpful, but I struggle sometimes. I thought I’d ask you ladies what mottos/thoughts to you think of to help be a good support?
Post # 2
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
I should also add that whenever I need to vent I’ve bbeen reminding myself that I have other supports for myself bc I know my DH already has enough and I don’t want to further burden him.
Post # 3
Member
579 posts
Busy bee
RunningGal: this depends on your relationship. My dh tends to be impulsive so even when he is having a tough time at work, I do play devils advocate and he appreciates it because it helps him work through the options he hasn’t considered. Otherwise I know with my dh the best thing I can do is give him space when he gets home and let him unwind/cool off or some of it will be taken out on me which then makes him feel worse.
i try to just take up as much of the slack at home as I can when he is having a tough time. Make him tea/coffee and sometimes pour him a beer randomly if i can see it has been a really rough day. I also used to randomly write him notes and pack with his lunch. My dh only recently got out of a job where everyday was a bad day so I know it can be hard.
Post # 4
Member
1640 posts
Bumble bee
Can you ask him what he finds helfpul?
Post # 5
Member
72 posts
Worker bee
- Wedding: November 2014 - backyard
Be there for him, the best way you know how. I agree with PP ask him what he needs