(Closed) how to be a nice wife. stop nagging, stop being a grouch

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 33
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

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@Sapphire-Dreamer  It’s from a magazine in the 1950’s called how to be a good wife. I’ts pretty hilarious to see how the times have changed.

Post # 34
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@mrshoneybee  Lately I’ve been learning that I don’t have to be led by my feelings. So when I feel crappy, upset, down, or irritable, I don’t have to let them control how I treat people or how I act. It’s easier said than done, but I’ve been unlearning being led by my emotions for some time now and it gets easier as time goes on. Before venting to Fiance I try to find the logic in why I’m feeling upset and then explain it to him in bullets rather than getting overly emotional. And he understands it better this way since men tend to be more logical. I think it also helps me to feel like less of a whiner when I do it this way, lol. But I’ve been finding that in the midst of feeling like crap, if I put a smile on my face or start to reflect on all the good things going for me, my disposition improves. Taking some time to just be quiet and get frustrations out by yourself also helps so that when you have to deal with other people you’ve already sorted yourself out.

Post # 37
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@ashleyr0512  

i agree now that this is BS when us woman our out there busting our butts as much as men.

but back then some of it wasnt BS,most women stayed home,men worked,so it worked for them,and i have to say,most of them been married until their deaths,at least thats what i have seen in my own family as well as other families i know personally

Post # 38
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@sharonmariep  

i just read through it again,its been quite a few years since the last time read it,there is a few things in there that even back then would be a huge no no for me,like not comming home all night,um no,that would not have worked for me lol,i would have bitched him out and no dinner for days 🙂

Post # 39
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

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@mrshoneybee  

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@mrshoneybee  

It’s easy for us to sit here and be like “OH HECK NO” but just like you pointed out things were very different back then. And what worked back then would never work now. It’s amazing how far women have come just in the last 50-60 years. I get so annoyed with Fiance when he is just a few minutes late. Let him stay out all night without me knowning where he is or what he’s doing and see my wrath LOL

Post # 40
Member
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

Find some kind of activity to calm you down

Post # 41
Member
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@mrshoneybee  I hit this thread kind of late, so forgive me if this has been said.

It’s really a choice.  While we have limited control over our emotions, we do have control over our actions.  Just think before you speak.  If you anticipate something mean coming out of your mouth, stop, count to three, take deep breaths, etc.  Then proceed.

Finding outlets for your negative emotions would probably help too.  Journaling, prayer, working out, a hot bath, meditation, yoga… anything you can do to unwind to help leave your shitty day behind you!

I was guilty of this for a long time (and similar to you it was my job making me miserable).  I realized, “I have all day at work to be miserable, why waste these precious moments at home with the person I love most?”  And what helped me cope while at work is knowing that while it’s not ideal, it does provide me with my home, my car, my livlihood, etc.  My shitty jobs provides me with my wonderful life!

Do your best to shake off the day when you clock out!  And pick up with your misery when you clock in the next day!  Wink

Good luck to you, hope everything works out!

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