(Closed) How to be less emotional during vow exchange? HELP!!!

posted 7 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

SOmtimes when you love someone that much all you can do is cry. I say let the flood gates loose! Lol, but of course you want to invest in some water proof mascara. Sorry I couldn’t be more helpful. Perhaps practicing with a friend may ease the flow

Post # 4
Member
5106 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Emotions are beautiful. I don’t think there will be much you can do to stop them, but waterproof your make-up!

I will be a huge bawling mess as well. I won’t make it down the aisle without crying.

I only hope I don’t do the “ugly cry”…lol

Post # 5
Member
363 posts
Helper bee

You’ll be ok πŸ™‚ I’ve been to a lot of weddings where the bride (or groom!) cries and it’s so touching. Weddings are very emotional events.

Every time I think about my wedding day (which is not even planned yet! lol) I tear up. Especially having ALL your loved ones, family and friends surrounding you….it must be an amazing moment.

Enjoy it!

Post # 6
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

Honestly, expecially knowing the background you will just cry. I know you dont want to be a mess on your big day, but at least your emotions will be real!! You will be beautiful with or without tears!!! Just get some waterproof mascara πŸ˜‰

Post # 7
Member
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Just cry! It is beautiful!

Post # 8
Member
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

eek that’s why we’re doing a first look. I’m hoping to get it all out then so I don’t sob at the altar.

Not to make you more worried, but my cousin sobbed so hard at the altar I don’t think he said his vows. It wasn’t that sweet and felt more like we were at a funeral.

Another friend of mine took a xanax before walking down the aisle. I don’t think we’ll be doing that… but a glass of champagne will be coming my way before we all walk down the aisle.

Post # 9
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

i thought i would cry but i was able to maintain just a choked up/teared up stance. but during the vows i would take deep breaths and pauses that allowed me to sort of collect myself.

i wouldn’t try to NOT experience emotion. that’s the whole point of your wedding day. i also built in some time to do a make-up touch up before going into the cocktail hour so i could fix any smudging….that helped a lot.

Post # 10
Member
281 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

They say you “recite your vows” so think of it like your rehearsing your lines for a performance. Know them off by heart and then just say the words.

Like the PPs have said, crying isn’t a bad thing and people love it because it gets them emotional too. Everyone crys at weddings, but it’s a happy cry.

You never know how you’re going to react until you’re in the moment. I was at my cousin’s wedding and her football manly fiance was blubbering and she didn’t shed a tear. She totally thought it would be the opposite.

Post # 11
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

We got married a few months ago for health insurance reasons so I’m HOPING that I don’t get all choked up but it’s totally possible. My plan of attack will probably be to make a joke during the ceremony like I did when we got married at the courthouse. When he wanted me to say “in sickness and in health” i paused for a long time and got my honey laughing (he’s a walking co-pay with all his little “accidents!!)

Side note: i had cervical cancer (or at least the threat of it) and had multiple cyro’s but a cone-biopsy was the last of it for me. Good luck, I’ve been clear for 6 years!!

Post # 12
Member
1077 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

My friend was supposed to bring me a special handmade hanky that I had given to her and that she carried in her wedding as my “something borrowed”, but she forgot it. I ended up w/ no hanky. It was also really windy. So I resolved and a little distracted. I wrote the vows, so I was fully aware of and on board with the sentiment. I just didn’t allow myself to ponder them too deeply in the moment, and my eyes stayed dry.

Post # 13
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Like PP’s have said, crying is ok!! πŸ™‚  When I got married to my first hubby, I thought I would be a crying mess since a few mothns before our wedding, my best friend got married and I cried the entire way down the aisle ( I was a BM) and through the ceremony (45 min….full mass!).  But when it came to be my turn, I was so excited and happy, that I grinned from ear to ear…..couldnt get rid of it!!! Litterally, my face hurt! πŸ™‚  I am hoping it is the same this time around!!

But I think if you practice them enough that the words will not be so “new” and you can get a lot of the emotional out.  Not saying that it wont be emotional, it will, but not as “fresh”, so maybe only  tears instead of crying! πŸ™‚  

Post # 14
Member
829 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’m sure I’m going to cry. We are writing our own vows, and even looking at other people’s vows/thinking that I’ll be saying them I get emotional. In my living room! I can’t look while at work either! lol

I gave the eulogy at my dad’s memorial service a few months back – also VERY emotional. When I first got up there I took a few deep breaths, started to talk, then started to choke up. I simply stopped and took deep breaths again. I was able to go all the way until the end – again, I just stopped, took deep breaths, and continued. I’m figuring I’ll have to do something like that for my vows!

Crying isn’t bad…and yes, waterproof mascara!

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