Post # 1
Hi everyone, I’m not a sissy girl or anything, but I have tried practicing my vows lately (were writing our own) and everytime I even start reading them I get really emotional and start crying. How can I de-sensitize myself for the real day, at least a little? I don’t want to be a mess on my day. A little background, we’ve been together for 3years and have a little girl together. I was diagnosed with cervical cancer a month after delivering my daughter and went through treatments and 2 surgeries and am cancer free now. Thank GOD! Through all this we got even closer than before and he was there for me through everything. He’s a great guy with a Big Heart and I love him to death, that’s why I can’t keep a dry eye. Please help, maybe some tips or ideas can help me out here. Thanks ladies 🙂
Post # 3
SOmtimes when you love someone that much all you can do is cry. I say let the flood gates loose! Lol, but of course you want to invest in some water proof mascara. Sorry I couldn’t be more helpful. Perhaps practicing with a friend may ease the flow
Post # 4
Emotions are beautiful. I don’t think there will be much you can do to stop them, but waterproof your make-up!
I will be a huge bawling mess as well. I won’t make it down the aisle without crying.
I only hope I don’t do the “ugly cry”…lol
Post # 5
You’ll be ok 🙂 I’ve been to a lot of weddings where the bride (or groom!) cries and it’s so touching. Weddings are very emotional events.
Every time I think about my wedding day (which is not even planned yet! lol) I tear up. Especially having ALL your loved ones, family and friends surrounding you….it must be an amazing moment.
Post # 6
Honestly, expecially knowing the background you will just cry. I know you dont want to be a mess on your big day, but at least your emotions will be real!! You will be beautiful with or without tears!!! Just get some waterproof mascara 😉
Post # 7
Just cry! It is beautiful!
Post # 8
eek that’s why we’re doing a first look. I’m hoping to get it all out then so I don’t sob at the altar.
Not to make you more worried, but my cousin sobbed so hard at the altar I don’t think he said his vows. It wasn’t that sweet and felt more like we were at a funeral.
Another friend of mine took a xanax before walking down the aisle. I don’t think we’ll be doing that… but a glass of champagne will be coming my way before we all walk down the aisle.
Post # 9
i thought i would cry but i was able to maintain just a choked up/teared up stance. but during the vows i would take deep breaths and pauses that allowed me to sort of collect myself.
i wouldn’t try to NOT experience emotion. that’s the whole point of your wedding day. i also built in some time to do a make-up touch up before going into the cocktail hour so i could fix any smudging….that helped a lot.
Post # 10
They say you “recite your vows” so think of it like your rehearsing your lines for a performance. Know them off by heart and then just say the words.
Like the PPs have said, crying isn’t a bad thing and people love it because it gets them emotional too. Everyone crys at weddings, but it’s a happy cry.
You never know how you’re going to react until you’re in the moment. I was at my cousin’s wedding and her football manly fiance was blubbering and she didn’t shed a tear. She totally thought it would be the opposite.
Post # 11
We got married a few months ago for health insurance reasons so I’m HOPING that I don’t get all choked up but it’s totally possible. My plan of attack will probably be to make a joke during the ceremony like I did when we got married at the courthouse. When he wanted me to say “in sickness and in health” i paused for a long time and got my honey laughing (he’s a walking co-pay with all his little “accidents!!)
Side note: i had cervical cancer (or at least the threat of it) and had multiple cyro’s but a cone-biopsy was the last of it for me. Good luck, I’ve been clear for 6 years!!
Post # 12
My friend was supposed to bring me a special handmade hanky that I had given to her and that she carried in her wedding as my “something borrowed”, but she forgot it. I ended up w/ no hanky. It was also really windy. So I resolved and a little distracted. I wrote the vows, so I was fully aware of and on board with the sentiment. I just didn’t allow myself to ponder them too deeply in the moment, and my eyes stayed dry.
Post # 13
Like PP’s have said, crying is ok!! 🙂 When I got married to my first hubby, I thought I would be a crying mess since a few mothns before our wedding, my best friend got married and I cried the entire way down the aisle ( I was a BM) and through the ceremony (45 min….full mass!). But when it came to be my turn, I was so excited and happy, that I grinned from ear to ear…..couldnt get rid of it!!! Litterally, my face hurt! 🙂 I am hoping it is the same this time around!!
But I think if you practice them enough that the words will not be so “new” and you can get a lot of the emotional out. Not saying that it wont be emotional, it will, but not as “fresh”, so maybe only tears instead of crying! 🙂
Post # 14
I’m sure I’m going to cry. We are writing our own vows, and even looking at other people’s vows/thinking that I’ll be saying them I get emotional. In my living room! I can’t look while at work either! lol
I gave the eulogy at my dad’s memorial service a few months back – also VERY emotional. When I first got up there I took a few deep breaths, started to talk, then started to choke up. I simply stopped and took deep breaths again. I was able to go all the way until the end – again, I just stopped, took deep breaths, and continued. I’m figuring I’ll have to do something like that for my vows!
Crying isn’t bad…and yes, waterproof mascara!
Post # 15
Thank you all so much for all your insight and I’ll definitely take your ideas to heart. Waterproof makeup and mascara is a MUST