How to be patient when you have a timeline and know a proposal is coming?

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
Post # 4
Member
597 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Your relationship starting the day you met makes you sound very young.

Post # 5
Member
1047 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

I highly suggest you get off this site. It’s easy to become consumed and obsessed with checking the boards, and getting jealous at every engagement.

Post # 7
Member
43 posts
Newbee

OP, there is nothing you can do about it. Whether he will eventually propose or not. I would take his words, but the mind is your own, you can create a heaven or hell. I don’t know how you can be more patient about it, it’s all up to you, perhaps you can keep busy, focus on your career, and let it flow.

Post # 8
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

Agree with PP, I strongly suggest you get off this site until you’re engaged.

When I was in the waiting phase, I started to obsess a bit and came on these boards all the time, or would look at wedding stuff on pinterest, etc. It just made the time drag and made waiting awful. When I started to feel envious of others getting engaged, I knew I needed to stop looking at this stuff and chill out. You know the proposal is coming, so try to get off these sites and focus your mind on something else. You’re in a great relationship, try to focus on building on that instead of focusing on the ring.

Post # 9
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

Focus on work! I know that definitely helps me keep my mind off things. I still like coming to this site to hear about other bees’ engagements since there were a few of us waiting around the same time. I dont talk about it as much with my friends because I’m sure if I did, they’ll be sick of it by now! So definitely, whatever it is you need to do, keep yourself busy.. but stay off pinterest! 

Post # 10
Member
8434 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

tryingtobeepatient :  

Yes I think pps have it right, this Waiting board is not a happy place, don’t come here before you ‘have’ to .

Also, with respect there  are two things that bother me in your post  one is ” he says he wants to have control of the proposal because it is the one thing that is his (if that makes any sense).”  No it doesn’t ,I highly doubt he has no control  over anything else  . I mean   , is it only you  who will decide  who and how many  guests  at the  weddiing,   where you will live, how   many  children  you will have, whether or not you will be a Stay-At-Home Mom etc etc ? Of course not, he will have plenty to  say about these and a thousand other things. He wants control  over the proposal so he can put it off till he wants it, whether you like that or not .

The other thing is   “There has to be at least a year between the wedding and the proposal because our church requires it ” Well the  church can prefer   it , but it can’t leglislate or enforce such a thing if you are of a legal age to marry.  

This is your life OP, be careful about allowing too much control of it out of your own hands,  to a man or an institution   no matter how well meaning and righteous  either of them are .  

Post # 12
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2017

tryingtobeepatient :  Honestly, he said he will do it by Oct 12 next year. Then you can’t say anything until then. Set a calendar count down or whatever, but he will do it by then then yes! You can say something and decide what you want if he DOESN’t propose by then. But you have to give him a chance to do what he said he is going to do. If he doesn;t do what he says he will then you don’t want to be with him anyway. 

Age also matters and that is why the bees asked. If you started dating at 16 and is now 21 there is a huge difference in maturity, reasons to get married, etc form both men and women’s standpoint than say you were 25 and now 28…believe me. 

 

Best wishes! 

 

Post # 13
Member
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

I cant help you too much because it would be like the blind leading the blind! I am 99.9% sure that my proposal is happening in November and I am going CRAZY! I definitely reccommend talking your gfs ears off and being active on here instead of talking to your soon to be Fiance about it!

GOOD LUCK! lol

 

EDIT: I see a lot of people saying to not be active on the waiting boards, but I enjoy the other boards. I get excited seeing dresses, rings, venues, etc. because I know my time is coming!

 

Post # 14
Member
2517 posts
Sugar bee

abouttodoit17 :  I disagree with this. I’m 27 and Fiance is 30 and we celebrate the day we met/day of our first date (we met online so our first date was our first meeting in person) as our anniversary, even though we weren’t official until about a month later. 

OP, do you want to get married on your five year anniversary or would you prefer it to be sooner? It sounds like an arbitrary date to me and personally I’d be annoyed at having to wait that long (unless you are under 25). You should get a say in your own future; if that year timeline for proposal and 2 year timeframe for wedding aren’t satisfactory to you, then you should be able to voice that and come to a compromise. 

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