(Closed) How to be the perfect postpartum visitor

posted 10 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

It’s blocked 🙁 Can you copy/paste the text?

Post # 4
Member
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Here’s how to play out your 15 minute visit:
1.  Bring a healthy meal. Include a salad or fresh vegetables.  Only use disposable dishes. There is nothing more annoying than 
         a) having to wash more dishes when you have a new baby 
         and 
         b) having to try to return dishes to all sorts of random people when you have a new baby
2.  In addition to your meal, bring cut up veggies and fruit, unsalted trail mix or nuts, or other such healthy snacks for daytime munching for mom to eat while she’s nursing.
3.  Go into the kitchen and spend 5 minutes clearing off a counter, washing a sink-full of dishes, loading the dishwasher etc.  Don’t ask permission, just do it.  Then set the table for their dinner.
4. Before you leave your house, put some paper towels and some powdered bathroom cleaner like Commet or Ajax in a baggie.  Stick it in your purse.  While you are at the house, go and use the washroom…and while in there do a three minute bathroom shine-up, using your paper towels and cleaner.
5.  Coo over the baby, but wash your hands before touching it.
6.  If they want to eat right then, heat the food up and put it on the table, give everybody kisses and then leave.
7.  Take the garbage out when you go.

Post # 5
Member
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

soooo yeah I would never do this. Cleaning someone else’s bathroom?

Post # 6
Member
1640 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

My sister in law just had a baby on Monday.  She was discharged on Tuesday, and hubs and I were able to visit on Tuesday night.  My SIL, Brother-In-Law and Mother-In-Law were all blown away when I showed up with lasagna, dinner rolls and a salad, all prepared and labeled with instructions.  This is their second child, so I didn’t want to buy them any baby stuff since they already have everything.

Brother-In-Law is a clean freak so he keeps their house clean.  I don’t think I would ever clean someone else’s bathroom – kinda weird.

Post # 7
Member
1211 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would be so mortified if someone started cleaning my bathroom! LMAO! Just bring food that is easy to heat up.

Seriously I just wanted people to sit with me, (bring food if they wanted to bring somethng), and tell me they couldn’t BEEEELIEVE I just had a baby. Tell the new mom how skinny she looks. Even if she doesn’t. That is the best present ever!

Post # 8
Member
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Um, no. I brought a lasagna, called hubs on the way and asked him to pre-heat his oven, stayed until it was cooked, held the baby and left. No cleaning…I’m pretty sure I would be really freaked out if someone was secretly cleaning my house.

Post # 10
Member
3340 posts
Sugar bee

Maybe I don’t remember my early postpartum days so clearly, but I would be mortified if my guests were cleaning my bathroom.

I would appreciate doing the dishes and taking out the trash though.  And I would have adored anyone who brought cut up fruit and trail mix!

Post # 11
Member
1211 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

throwing a load of laundry in would be nice to. haha

Post # 12
Member
8246 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Maybe it’s because I haven’t had kids yet but I’d think that if a friend came to visit after I’d had a baby, I’d want them to sit and chat, not run around cleaning my kitchen and bathroom!

Yes – Some ready to eat and/or ready to throw into the oven food would be greatly appreciated but I don’t want friends and family to become maids when they visit.

Post # 13
Member
1830 posts
Buzzing bee

I think I would be a little weirded out about the bathroom too.  But if someone just quickly wiped off the counter or saw something that needed to be done I would have been appreciative.  I also appreciated when people let me know if they didnt mind me bf in front of them.  I didn’t want to ask people so would just leave the room but appreciated when people volunteered the info so we could keep talking while baby ate.  Also I didn’t mind if people stayed longer than 15 min if it was a close friend.  If it was like a coworker or someone who I didn’t socialize with much out of work than 15-20 min was a nice length.

Post # 14
Member
2160 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I don’t think I’d be weirded-out unless I hadn’t just given birth and they were in there scrubbing away.  I can see where the stigma this carries could prevent our culture from being more involved with new moms.  I’d be overwhelmed with gratitude if my family and I were cared for in this way.  I was depleted from all the visiting and baby hugging going-on and then walking my swollen legs around to clean and do laundry.  I was okay after the first and second.  The third was rougher.  Everyone seems to think of food, but maybe it’s okay if it doesn’t stop there.

Post # 15
Member
759 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

My big peeve was when people came over and expected us to entertain them.  I had a c-section, I am NOT going to ask if you’d like something to drink.  See that big box thing over there?  It’s called a fridge.  And hey, clean up your glass when you’re done…the smaller box is called a dishwasher.

Ask if I’d like something brought up from the basement: laundry, toilet paper, etc.  

If we ask you to come at a certain time it’s not because I pulled it out of my ass.  It’s because if you show up at that time the kid might actually be awake.  And if he’s not, don’t think you’re going to hold him.  Always ask first.  And hey, don’t be late.  Yes, we’re here…doing “nothing”…but that’s not an invitation to think that we don’t know the time.

If you’ve known me longer than 10 years and see that my bed isn’t made, the bathroom is out of something, the kitchen is a mess or you are related to me by blood or marraige…CLEAN IT UP.  No, you don’t have to scrub my toilet.  That’s weird.

Post # 16
Member
1127 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

These are the kinds of things I would do. But only if we were really good friends or family. Otherwise, it’s kind of strange to just go in someone’s house and clean up. But I have friends that would do that sort of thing for me without question…and I for them.

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