(Closed) How to best approach the e-ring topic?

posted 3 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
5643 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

It sounds like it didn’t bother you as much until you looked through a loupe, which doesn’t make any sense, why are you annoyed that he didn’t look at it with magnification?

Can the ring even be returned? What if that’s all your Fiance can afford, are you still expecting him to buy a better ring?

Post # 3
Member
8370 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Why not pay for your own upgrade?

Post # 4
Member
543 posts
Busy bee

I don’t feel like it should be that big of a deal to express to him what you’re thinking. You are engaged to this man so talk to him. Just be honest with him and I’m sure that he will understand. If he doesn’t and he really thinks that you should keep the ring that you have, then I would respect that. I’m sure once you actually start the conversation it isn’t going to be a big deal at all, but just remember that he is going to be your husband and you absolutely have to be able to communicate, no matter what the subject is. 

Also, I don’t think you should go off of what you saw under the scope if you loved it beforehand. Nobody is going to be walking around with a loupe asking to look at your Ering, but if you just don’t like the way it looks in general, then I understand. 

Good Luck, OP! 

Post # 8
Member
1294 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

How do you feel about moissanite? It’s waaaay cheaper.

Post # 10
Member
1250 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

View original reply
sweetpea40 :  This is a tricky one! It makes me nervous that you have such anxiety about this – are you afraid you’ll hurt his feelings, or that you’ll make him angry?

Can you investigate on your own how much it would cost to trade the diamond for the smaller one of better quality, and then depending on if it’s reasonable, offer to cover that cost yourself? 

Post # 11
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I can totally understand the anxiety, this is part of the reason that a surprise proposal would be a huge no-go for me. If you feel this strongly about a ring, he really should have included you, at least a little bit, in the ring purchase.

Since he didn’t, I would just let him know how much you love that he took the initiative upon himself and that you love the proposal and the ring, but that there are some inclusions in the stone that bother you. Ask if you two can go look at stones together and exchange it (assuming that you still can). Just be honest.

Post # 12
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I understand how you feel. I have an I1 clarity and I realized that it has a big crack on one of the corners. We picked out the ring together, but never looked at it under the scope since we got it at a retail store and I guess they don’t really want you to look at it under a scope. Either way, I only mentioned it to my Fiance months later because of the anxiety I had. But I told him that we could upgrade it later on for an anniversary or something. I try not to look at the crack and just enjoy the ring I have because yes we got a bigger diamond than what I was expecting. I would eventually like a bigger diamond, so I told him that the upgrade can wait since I’ll just end up getting a bigger diamond later. Maybe since it’s so recent, he could return the ring? Or at least return the diamond? If I were you I’d look online such as James Allen, and buy the diamond seperate and get a better quality diamond for a cheaper price without comprimising on the size. 

Post # 15
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

View original reply
sweetpea40 :   Does he tend to be easily offended? I think it’s all in how you frame it. I would think that as long as you frame it in a way where you let him know how much you love the ring setting and that he picked it out all himself, it should be ok. I’d suggest you tell him now, though. There are bees who have waited years and been upset with the ring still and then it’s been too long and that’s even more of an issue because they weren’t honest up front.

The topic ‘How to best approach the e-ring topic?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors