(Closed) How to break out of the “housewife” mold?

posted 8 years ago in Wellness
Post # 3
1543 posts
Bumble bee

Well, as I was reading, my first inclination was to suggest that you eat a smaller portion before he gets home, but then I read a little further……..so, ummm, yeah.

Short of fixing an entirely different girly meal for yourself, while fixing him a manly meal, I don’t have much advice. And that’s not much for advice, seeing as how you’re trying to be less domestic and do less of the cooking.

Sorry, I’m useless.

Post # 4
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m sure he’d be down for eating vegetarian with you a few times a week. I know that doesn’t address all your concerns, but it’s a start, right?

Post # 5
1543 posts
Bumble bee

Wait, maybe there could be a take out compromise somehow? Idk…..

Post # 8
572 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I don’t know how much this will help you but I’ll share our story because it sounds a little similar to yours.  Before me, Darling Husband ate out for 99% of his meals; the rest was frozen pizzas.  I hardly ever ate out and had lost a bit of weight.  When we got together we were eating out a lot and the weight piled on me even though I wasn’t eating that bad, as well as him (his eating habits did not change, we think his metabolism just stopped dead in its tracks).  We eventually calmed down on eating out and started eating at home.  Now, I make a lot of our sauces and sneak in veggies wherever possible and always have a veggie or two with dinner.  I have been trying to keep up with what Darling Husband eats (the size) and I have been trying to catch myself when I start doing that and make an effort to stop. 

I also asked Darling Husband last year maybe if we would be okay having a meatless day.  That did not last but we’ve picked it up lately and he is the last person that would try anything different.  Now we are subbing Morning Star meat in place of beef quiet a bit and he’s really branched out on things but we still have our real chicken and stuff.

If you are dead set on cooking his meals instead of letting him fend for himself, can you not cook him something and then you eat your yogurt and sandwhich meat with him at the table so you can have that time?  Marriage is compromise and with that you both get what you want.

Post # 9
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

Try making a variety of types of dinners.  You don’t have to make meat/starch/veggie followed by apple pie to have a June Cleaver approved meal! πŸ˜‰

What about….

salads with fruit and grilled chicken, soup, whole wheat baguettes

chili, cornbread, and baked sweet potatos (MUCH healthier than regular!)

baked quesadillas (fill with cheese, brown in a skillet with no butter, then bake and 300 for 20 min), corn on the cob, and fruit salad

creamy fruit salad (mix 1 cup yogurt with 1/8 cup milk, and a dash of vanilla extract and pour over 2 cups fruit), sugar snap peas, and turkey meatloaf (use ground turkey and it will taste exactly like regular, but MUCH healthier!


Lots of ideas!!  I can’t think of any more right now, but another suggestion would be to snack throughout the day so you aren’t as hungry at dinner.  Then, at dinner, drink lots of water and stop eating when you’re full.  That will help keep your portions down.  When you are cooking, follow package directions and measure 1 serving for you and 2-3 for hubs.  Use a measuring cup when serving yourself… it’s weird, but WORKS.

I fight this battle too… you aren’t the only one πŸ™‚


Post # 10
1749 posts
Bumble bee

@ddw: I love food and I enjoy eating so much! I am getting older so its time to be aware of what goes in your body and watch my weight. I say enjoy the meal and maybe ask him to take an evening walk with you around the neighborhood to have your personal time.

Post # 11
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

It sounds like you were being really unhealthy before, to be honest. You weren’t eating enough. The weight you put on, if you are in fact eating balanced healthy meals, is probably good for you.

Have you tried spending Sunday afternoon cooking multiple things that can be heated up? That’s what I do. I make a soup in the slow cooker (always a healthy, lighter, veggie-rich, sometimes with meat, but sometimes with vegetarian protein). I cook either chicken or beef in a rotating recipe that we both love. I cut up or prep veggies for easy cooking the night of/for adding to a salad. Sometimes I make a lasagna or other freezable dish. That way, I never have to do more than 15 minutes of prep during the week – and my husband and I spend that time on Sunday together cooking and cleaning (and chatting/goofing off)

Post # 12
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

When I cook for Fiance I dont eat the same amount as him. I serve myself what I can eat and serve him what he can eat because he has a bigger appetite than me. I’m sure if you reduce your portions that shouldnt be a problem? If you cook meat and veg for him and only eat the veggies, that really shouldnt be a problem either right? Growing up we would all eat at the same table but not everyone always had the same thing on their plate so I’m used to that

Post # 13
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I was having the same problem. However, my wonderful cooking started making Kingy gain weight too so now we do nice meals a few times a week and salad wraps a few times a week.

Post # 14
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Aw that is hard. I sympathize because my husband is frustratingly the same. I make his lunch every morning because if I don’t… he doesn’t. Even if I set the stuff out– he refuses to make his own sandwich. He doesn’t guilt me… but he just doesn’t take a lunch. Which means he either eats fast food or doesn’t eat. And same with dinner… if I don’t cook he’ll eat something like…. a bag of chips. It is so frustrating!! 

So um.. yea i don’t have a solution because we’re the same lol. I have coped a bit by trying to make easier meals (I used to make more complicated stuff now I”m just like… whatever tacos). If he’s really hungry he just eats more. I also stopped caring so much about side dishes. He doesn’t really care about them and they take so much time. He’s generally perfectly happy to fill up on entree and if I want a side I have a piece of fruit. 

Good luck!

Post # 16
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Can’t you just make yourself a smaller portion of dinner and eat really slowly? Or make yourself a lighter dinner (like a salad?) to have when your husband has his big dinner?

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