(Closed) How to “break up” with our officiant?

posted 8 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Definitely a call, if not in person. 

Post # 5
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

I think you should give him a chance first.  Maybe call him and tell him exactly what changes you would like to make to the ceremony structure.  It’s likely that he will either agree to the changes, or he will decline from being your officiant if he’s uncomfortable with the type of ceremony you want.  That way you don’t have to fire him.

Post # 6
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I like moose’s idea. 

Post # 8
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I dumped an officiant via e-mail, but he was not someone we or our families knew personally. I sent a nice email, because frankly, he was a jerk to us, and I did not feel like wasting more time scheduling an appointment with that assclown just so I could dump him.

Since your family knows this person, you may want to call him just so there are no hard feelings or problems down the road. If you are honest but respectful, he should understand. You deserve to have the wedding ceremony you want and you should not have to be stuck with someone who doesn’t see or understand your vision- so be gentle, but don’t feel bad about it. Good luck!

 

Post # 9
Member
695 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Since you’ve already talked to him about the changes you’d like and he’s declined, I think you’re right that he won’t be surprised. I do think you should call him, esp since he’s a family friend.

I agree with Monkeygirl…be respectful and polite and he will understand. I would simply say something like: “FI and I have given a lot of thought to our ceremony, and it seems like we are going in a different direction from what we talked about with you. We really appreciate and thank you for your willingness to marry us, but it seems like it would be best if we chose a different officiant. Thanks again for the time you spent talking with us.”

Post # 10
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

Memorize what Julia just wrote and repeat! That’s perfect since he already knows that you guys were discussing going a different direction with the wedding.

Post # 11
Member
695 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@Moose1209, thanks! If only I could solve my own issues so diplomatically 🙂 Hehehe.

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