(Closed) How to bring up the possibility Marriage?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

hi there, I think it does sound like something he is considering, but I would also say that you are still young and have only be together a relatively short time (despite knowing each other longer).

I would just say you should suss out the topic with him by a little “One day wont it be lovely to be married and have kids” talk and see how it goes. Dont force the issue but its good to know you are both on the same page.

I would be prepared though for the fact he may say he just isnt ready. But as long as it is something he sees’s happening in the future that is great!

Post # 4
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee

Honestly he has givin you signs that hes consiering a future with you … but 8 months is way tooo soon (its usually 18months) your gonna scare him if you come at him now w marraige …i woul also wait till you graduated an got a job also to have this convo … so then when you ask him where does he see himself in  the next 5 years {and listen if he uses all i statments not so good but if he throws some we’s in there he sees a future w you } you wont loo like your pressuring him oer that your weding crazy 

Post # 5
Member
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I think it’s different for every couple…Boyfriend or Best Friend and I are in our 30s, been there, done that, and it still was about 6-7 months before even the word “marriage” came up (not even about our own marriage), and almost 10 months before he mentioned anything about getting engaged.  I would say let him bring it up first, but its perfectly fine to ask questions like “where do you see yourself in 3 years?”  And make sure he knows that being married is something you want. 

 

Post # 6
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

It’s definitely different for everyone. My fiance and I were joking about marrying eachother a couple weeks after we met… and we both came to the conclusion that we really did want to spend our lives together after only a couple of months of seeing each other. It might be less romantic, but if having an open discussion about marriage feels comfortable, don’t be afraid to go there!

Statistically speaking, men tend to get that settling down feeling a little later than women. I’m your age, but my fiance is 30. He doesn’t have any more hang-ups about making a huge comittment. It makes sense to me that a younger guy might not be comfortable with the idea of marriage (even my Maid/Matron of Honor freaks out at the idea of marrying her long time BF!).

My advice is to talk about it, but keep the conversation light and fun (no pressure)! If he tries to change the subject, drop it and give him some time to digest the idea.  

Post # 8
Member
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

You’re funny and I mean that as a compliment:) you need to start a pinterest board for wedding ideas to channel that energy girl! His answer was “married to you.” A very clear response. I think it’s easy to say let the guy bring it up but it sounds like you are going to burst from excitement of all things wedding if you do! Me and Fiance were dating 7 1/2 months before getting engaged, and are having a 13 month engagement. BUT we are 31 and we actually dated for almost two years in jr. High. Everyone is different. Shoot my Sis and her husband met on a blind date and got married 3 months later! One of my good friends eloped after 2 weeks and 17 years later has a great marriage. Good luck to you, and seriously, start a pinterest board or 2! Lol!

Post # 9
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

glad to hear you’re in such a great relationship!

8 months is not too long, but it’s not just weeks either. i think it’s good that you can both talk about the future together and talk about where you see yourselves. and it definitely seems like he sees you in that picture!

just wanted to make a quick comment about what you said –

I also think that if he ever wants to move in with him I will make it clear that I am not interested in doing that with anyone unless we are engaged.”

i’m probably biased since this is exactly what i did, but i think that is a VERY smart move, considering the many horror stories i’ve heard about empty proposal promises after moving in etc. in my opinion, if they want to live with you, they should also be prepared to make that solid commitment to you as well (no free milk without buying the cow etc.!).

Post # 10
Member
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

It sounds like you’re at a good place to talk generally about how the two of you feel about marriage/engagements/children in general, maybe not specifically in your relationship. You are young, still in school and 8 months isn’t that long to start talking specifically about your relationship leading to an engagement/marriage.

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