(Closed) How to bring up when to have kids / TTC conversation to husband?

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 92
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

giaf1:  That concerns me that he “didn’t really get the hint” of why you were suggesting he ease up on the birth control.  The only way someone would not know what that means is if he’s willfully refusing to think about what that means.  So, your fear to have a direct talk with him because you sense a disappointing answer from him? Totally justified.  

I’m sad to say that there’s a 99.5% chance you’re absolutely right–You can talk to him and spell your timeline out for him, but I GUARANTEE his timeline is not now.  

You do need to talk to him.  Just go in there accepting his answer is not now.  The goal of this talk is NOT to find out if he’s ready now too.  He’s not. The goal of this talk is to find out how far in the future will he be ready and how you can work it out.

You need to make a list of all the questions you have given that you KNOW his answer is “not now.”  Yes you do know. You’re his wife. He’s doing all these things that gave you that feeling. Your intuition is right.  

So make a list.  Because you do not want to badger him about this, or any topic, all the time, every time you think of something else you should’ve asked him.  So take a few days, make your list, ask your friends if you left anything off, make sure all your questions are addressed:

–I know not now, but when?

–Why so far in the future? Reasons?

–What do you think about my timeline? 

etc.

WRITE THEM OUT!! “List in your head” is worthless. Make your one talk count. 

Post # 94
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Depends on your relationship dynamics. I’m surprised it’s not something that you can just outwardly talk about.  

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